Text versus call, hike versus drink, ask more or fewer questions… The ins and outs of dating can be very confusing for men these days. However, many of the tried and true dating tips never change. So in an effort to help out the fellas out there, we asked dating and relationship experts from across the board what the most important dating tips for men are.
Here’s their list of the top 22:
1. If you met someone in person, then ask for a date in person or on the phone.
“Don’t email or text to ask a woman out for the first time. The latter are impersonal, and dating is all about getting to know someone personally. It also sets a poor tone for the relationship’s communication dynamics.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist
2. While online dating, don’t push too quickly to meet in person.
“For most women, online dating involves a certain level of risk and anxiety so spend time getting to know her online and through phone and video chats before suggesting meeting in person to ensure she feels comfortable.” – Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
3. Take initiative.
“When you’re talking or texting while planning the date, as the guy always have a time and place in mind. You never want to get into one of those exchanges like… ‘What do you want to do? Oh I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ Be confident and make a recommendation.” – Radio Wright, Online Dating Expert
4. Make your first few dates in public.
“Make your first few dates in public and drive separately to let the lady know making her feel safe is your top priority.”- Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
5. Take your date somewhere you’ll feel comfortable.
“You might think that you’re being a gentleman by letting your date decide where you go on your date, but women like to see that you can take control. Help cut through any nerves by arranging to meet up in familiar territory that will help you feel more comfortable.” – Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
6. Call her to confirm the date.
“Doctors and dentists do it; so should you. Since men usually don’t pick up the women they date, calling to confirm a date is pretty easy and puts the women at ease.” – Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert
7. Look your best.
“A lot of guys don’t think about how they look before going on dates, even though women pay attention to the little details related to appearance. Make sure you are well-groomed (check for dirty fingernails, freshly apply deodorant, shower). Second, make sure your clothes match, aren’t wrinkled, and look decent on you.” –David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
8. Confidence is key.
“The way you enter a room or share a glance are indicators of your confidence working for you or against you. When you feel odd or awkward people can pick up on that uneasiness which will equate to whether or not you are perceived as attractive. One of the best ways to make a good first impression is by showing your confidence.” – Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
9. Open doors and hold seats out.
“Women appreciate these old-school good manners. They also convey that you’re appreciative of her choosing to spend her time getting to know you.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist
10. Turn off your phone.
“There’s nothing more annoying then phones going off while you’re trying to spend quality time with someone. Turn your phone off completely. If she knows that you’ve turned your phone off to focus entirely on the date, she’ll appreciate that you’re taking the time to engage with her fully.” – Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
11. Keep the conversation fun and flirty.
“Since guys tend to be very analytical, it’s easy for them to turn conversations into a fact-sharing session. Women find conversations like this boring. It’s fine to share facts, but make sure to add in humor, intrigue, and flirtatious overtones. This will make her excitedly hang on your every word.” -David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
12. Avoid the ex conversation.
“Your date will not be interested and it can make things feel awkward. If your date does bring up the subject, try to keep answers short. Reassure her that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know her instead.”– Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
13. Make your first few dates Action Dates.
“Most women aren’t dying to sit down for two hours to share a boring meal with a stranger, playing an awkward game of 20 questions. Instead, plan something more fun and adventurous. (Like bowling, hiking, kayaking.) Especially on the first few dates when impressions matter the most. Give them a date they’ll remember.”-David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
14. Learn how to compliment.
“People put effort into getting ready for a date so take the time to compliment the other person and mean it! Not jus, ‘I like your dress’ but ‘I like how your dress brings out the color of your eyes.’ Always look for the best in others and it will bring out the best in you!”- Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
15. Keep it light hearted.
“Try to keep your conversation light-hearted. On your first date, you don’t want to get into an in-depth conversation about why you don’t enjoy your job, or other issues. Avoid talking about religion, politics, or recent news that’s controversial. Women want a guy who can make them laugh. Yes you do have to be serious sometimes, but in the early stages of dating, have some fun.”– Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
16. DO NOT talk about future plans during a first date.
“This is usually done out of lack of confidence hoping the girl wants to see you in the future. Women will feel this neediness. Just enjoy the date and if things go well, make future planes when you talk on the phone next.”– Radio Wright, Online Dating Expert
17. Leave a little mystery.
“When you are getting to know someone you do not want to lay all your cards out on the table or tell your entire life story. The sense of mystery keeps them coming back for more and creates a certain chemistry that will make you stand out from others.”- Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
18. Offer to make sure she gets to her cab, car, or her next destination.
“Make sure she gets in her car, cab, etc. safely. Women’s safety is important, showing her that you care about her, shows her that you are a gentleman.”- Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert
19. Let her take the first step towards physical/sexual contact.
“This will help her feel like you care about her and not just her body and help her feel safe and that she’s in control of the pace you’re moving without pressure.”- Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
20. Only say you will call her if you truly intend to.
“Women can handle rejection. More people complain about the flakiness and the ghosting. If you are not interested, don’t lead her on. After all, you never know if the next woman you date somehow knows her.”- Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert
21. Don’t play games.
We get that you don’t want to seem needy, clingy, desperate, or overzealous. But if you’d like to see her again, just let her know. “You can weave it into the conversation at the end of the first date (e.g. ‘This was a great evening. Would you open to seeing each other again soon?’) If she says ‘yes’, then say, ‘Awesome. I’ll call you on ___ and set something up.’ Then follow through and call when you say you would.”- Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist