You heard about your friend’s story about that one guy she met from Tinder, and three years later, they are still happily together.
You wonder, should I give it a try? While you love being single, you feel like you are ready to let someone new comes into your life again now.
If you never tried online dating, this idea might be strange to you. Are you meeting someone online and dating them? That would be a crazy idea! What if they turn out to be a thief or a drug dealer who eventually ruin your life?
I could hear some people scream “a big no” in their heads.
This is understandable because even in 2021, online dating is still considered too risky.
I’ve had friends who chose to stay single (one of them is in his 60s) just because they don’t like the idea of talking to someone who they haven’t met yet.
They don’t trust that such a relationship exists. Not mentioning those scary stories or just awful break-ups before the meeting in real life happened worldwide.
But as someone who’s done it and still going strong with the boyfriend that I met online five years ago, I can assure you that online dating can work, as long as you know how to do it.
Be Mindful and Intentional in What You Want
I’m a big believer in the law of attraction. This also applied when I first jumped into the online dating world. I made it clear that I didn’t want just a one-night stand type of relationship.
I wanted someone interested in building a relationship together. As a result, I found someone who wanted the same thing as I did, and we grow together year after year.
I also recommend this to my girlfriends every time they came to me asking for online dating tips. Having a clear intention at the beginning will help you waste less time. You know whether you should invest your time and energy or not when you meet a new person.
Don’t Open up Too Soon
I admit it can be so tempting to talk about all of your past stories, why you break up with your ex, and maybe all sorts of family drama you are currently having.
You wanted to let them know that you trust them with your stories, and that way, you can also build a strong connection instantly. But don’t do it just yet.
This is one of the common mistakes people make when they just started talking to someone new online.
Before you even trust them with your life stories or even dark secrets, you need to take a step back and only talk about general things first. Don’t rush into a serious discussion.
As trusting as they seem to be, you also need to be cautious enough and aware that bad things can happen to anyone.
This leads me to the next point.
Observe the New People You Met First
One thing that I’d like to do in the first three months I started talking to someone new is getting to know them as much as I can but reducing the amount of deeply personal stories I tell them.
This makes me understand what kind of person he is, and when I decided to invest my time and energy, later on, I’d know 100% what I signed up for.
When it comes to online dating, it’s so easy to like someone new. This is because, just like you, they’ll only display the best part.
This is understandable because who wants to put it in public about their “baggage,” right? I’m not saying this to scare you but being observant will help you save you from wasting your time and unnecessary heartbreak.
See How You Feel Every Time You Interact with Them
When you expose yourself to the online dating world such as Tinder or Bumble, meeting new people is just a matter of seconds. If you just let everyone in, you’ll end up feeling mentally exhausted.
When I tried online dating in the first month, I learned that it was indeed exciting to talk to new people, but I also felt my energy drained.
I didn’t realize how important it is to filter it out and only interact with people who I genuinely enjoy the company.
Listen to Your Gut More than Your Friends
I know how exciting it is when you finally matched with someone new, and then minor issues come up here and there in the first three months. This is when people usually start asking their friends for dating advice.
While I’m not against this idea, I still highly recommend listening to your gut more. Even though it’s nice to ask other people’s inputs as it’ll give you new perspectives. Yet, at the end of the day, you’re the only one who knows what’s going on with the new relationship.
From my experience, it also feels so much better to trust yourself. If something doesn’t work out, you don’t need to blame your friends for their advice. You know you are fully responsible for this choice.
Overall, online dating is still recommended, especially during this pandemic where we can’t meet people face to face.
Even though there are some cons, for example, no matter how convincing someone from their bio or how they talk, you can’t be 100% sure you can trust and feel the same way when you’ll meet them in person later on.
Just like anything else in life, online dating has its benefits and consequences as well. But I still do think it’s worth trying. As long as you are being careful and not blindly trust someone so quickly, you should be fine.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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