Another year, another Bachelor … but the lessons we can learn about dating and love stay the same.
With The Bachelor finale wrapping up this week, and the former Bachelor Chris Soules making an appearance at my bootcamp, I was wondering how Chris feels about his experience on this world-famous reality TV show.
I wonder if he regrets it, wishes he had that pool of women again, thinks he made a mistake, or what, if anything, would he do differently?
It’s entertaining, and people love to guess who the bachelor or bachelorette will pick.
But as a matchmaker, I can say there are quite a few lessons that singles might actually learn from the shows, for their own quest for love — much more than they might realize.
Yes, I think there are some givens here, like how it must be weird to do this with the TV cameras following you.
That said, I think it gives you a platform aside from the standard dating pool to highlight whatever cause you see fit which could be used to your advantage. For example, farming is definitely something that Chris addresses and has a passion for, and what better industry to highlight at this time?
Apparently, it gives everyone the chance to forever dissect your love life, too, beyond the boundaries of the show itself.
It must be crazy to put out such a personal side to yourself and then have to go back to living your personal life trying to find love.
Let’s face it. These relationships from the show rarely last, so the reason it’s so widely popular has to go beyond the rose and who he picks.
Obviously, we all love to hate on the villains.
We wonder why the bachelor or the bachelorette can’t see the scheming villain, or why they don’t pick who America thinks is right for them.
I think we like to see someone else failing or stumbling in their relationship just like other singles, and I don’t think it’s malicious.
It just reminds you that you aren’t the only person in this crazy single life going through the struggle of dating.
I am sure that deep within, even if we expect the couple to break up soon, we secretly root for it to work out — because we are secretly rooting for our own fragile relationships, too in a dating process that never seems to works.
There are some lessons that you could take away from the show for the better, though.
I do think Chris Soules could teach singles a few things about finding lovethrough his own search.
Here are five of the most important lessons we can all learn, no matter who the Bachelor (or Bachelorette!) is:
Chris didn’t find long term love and neither will you if you are overwhelmed. It’s hard to get to know someone well when you have a pool of online people and you pass easily and quick.
It’s like Chris being forced to give a rose. It’s a TV show, and he has to move on. You don’t. Look at everyone carefully before kicking them to the curb.
Everyone has an opinion.
At the end of the day, you can only trust your thoughts and make your own choices.
Ignore your friends, and trust your own feelings. Don’t let your girlfriends pick your guy apart.
Everyone has to deal with real life intervening sooner or later. Chris has to live in the real world without these fake romantic dates arranged by producers. This exciting date with the worst decision being who he is going to give a rose to that night for TV doesn’t become all important.
Same for you. We have to be who we are when looking for love with our real needs and wants out there. Real life intervenes and eventually, we are going to see us and our partners without all the makeup and glow of the romance. What’s left needs to be real and you need to be like each other.
It’s easy to be in love when you are on vacation all the time. It’s when times are tough you need something more.
Omg! It must be so embarrassing to go through this in such a public way with all the bachelor fans interested in knowing why and analyzing it.
I think it just teaches you that if you date, you are most likely going to have a breakup. It’s a hard part of dating.
You have to know that it’s going to happen. It’s only going to lead you to the right person.
Never the less, it’s very difficult and heartbreaking but it happens. Don’t let it cripple you or keep you from trying.
Obviously this is a show, but Chris is a real person. This is a real chance at love. I bet no matter who he winds up with, the experience will have enriched his life for the better. Chris and other people on the show have taken a chance on love no matter how slim their chances are of finding love is on TV.
This is a lesson that most singles need to embrace. Put yourself out there, do something extreme.
This is what you have to do find love.
Maybe if you take a lead from him, by the time the Bachelorette wraps, you will be on your way to finding your own love.