Attracting people while dating online isn’t that hard, but attracting the people you’re really interested in… Well, that requires a bit of work. The good news is, it’s a whole lot easier than you think once you know what to do.
Here are 7 online dating tips to help you attract interesting people:
1. Your main profile picture should be you at your best.
Your main picture is your first impression so it needs to show you at your absolute best. People are visual creatures so this is important. This may take a bit of work if you don’t already have that perfect picture, but always remember, even if it takes a hundred tries to get that perfect photo, that one photo could attract the person who becomes the person you share the rest of your life with. Not too bad a deal for a few hours work is it?
2. The more pictures, the better.
Some online dating experts advise their clients to use no more than four pictures. I say nonsense. Data has shown that adding more pictures to your dating profile results in more inbound messages. We already know people are extremely visual. Keeping that in mind, each picture is a unique opportunity to draw someone’s attention and tell a different story about yourself.
The key is diversity. Eight photos of you standing alone is off-putting, boring, and doesn’t reveal anything unique about you from picture to picture. Eight or more pictures capturing you in different positive aspects of your life, (like a travel picture, a photo with your family, you finishing the last 10k you ran, or your Halloween costume), will tell a story that people get interested in, and ultimately, will want to be a part of.
3. Be playful and flirtatious.
If you were to meet someone you liked at a bar, how would you let them know? You’d probably smile a lot, touch their arm, lean in when you talk, or give any number of visual and verbal cues that communicate interest.
Well in the online world all you have is your words and the characters on a keyboard to let the person know you’re interested and attracted. Use them to your advantage. Exclamation points, emoticons, emojis, and innocent G-rated flirting are all great ways to let someone know you’re into them. Just use all of these things in moderation or it will backfire—you don’t want to look like teenager!
A lot of online dating is filled with boring small talk, so don’t be afraid to be the exception.
4. Never make a list of deal-breakers.
This may seem obvious, but a lot of people still do it. Making a list of deal breakers in your profile is one of the worst mistakes you can make.
You will never scare off the people you’re not interested in by listing all the qualities that you don’t want in a partner. But you may convince the good people out there that you’re overly picky, judgmental, or negative. This probably isn’t true, but it’s how it comes across. So stay positive and focus on the things you’re looking for instead of the things you’re not looking for.
5. Understand that people have short attention spans.
People are insanely busy these days. In fact, you’re probably so busy right now that you’re simply skimming this article. Did I catch you? It’s okay, I forgive you.
When it comes to online dating, you have to overcome all the noise and distractions life brings by being economical with your words, structuring your profile properly, and packing the most punch into every word you write.
The ideal structure for a profile is 5-6 mini paragraphs of 2-3 sentences each with each section focusing on a different aspect of your life. This allows someone to both skim for information, or read your profile like a well-crafted story if they choose to.
If you’re on a site that uses email, as a rule they should take no more than 60 seconds to read and 2-3 minutes to respond to. This can increase slightly as the responses begin to snowball, but it’s a good rule of thumb in the beginning.
6. Size up the competition.
Ok, so it’s not really a competition but there are a lot of people on online dating sites that you can learn from. Researching your competition can be extremely helpful if you’re not sure what to say in your profile. Take a look at a lot of profiles and see how you compare. What do some profiles do better or more effectively than you do? Which profiles would you be most attracted to? After you have your answers, use this knowledge to your advantage and adjust your own profile.
7. Stand out from the competition
What qualities do you have that shine the most? Is it your humor? Is it your sense of adventure? Is it your passion for volunteering? Maybe it’s all of the above. Figure out what it is about you that’s worth highlighting and then make sure these qualities are showcased in your photo and your profile.
If you’re new to online dating, it can seem confusing at first but at the end of the day it’s about putting your best self out there and connecting with people and getting to know them. Don’t forget to have fun with it!