The perfect emotional storm.
“For a lot of people who are vulnerable to falling for these romance scams, they have a romanticised idea of love or relationships. So they believe in true love. They believe in fairy tales more than the average person,” Dober explained.
“They also might have more of an addictive personality type or disposition than the average person, which means that they’re chasing that high, that dopamine fix, that excitement. They also have higher levels of emotional instability at times, plus an unhoned skill of critical analysis. It can all be a perfect storm.”
Life transitions can also create vulnerability. “For people who might be divorced, might be lonely, their friendships might change, their children might have grown up, they’ve got more free time again. They’re thinking of the last 20, 30, 40 years of their life. There are certain emotional states that can leave any of us vulnerable to believing lies, or being hoodwinked, which is also quite scary as well.”
Compassion, not judgment.
A lot of us at this point might be thinking, how could you possibly have fallen for this? How could you possibly think that George Clooney needed $20,000 from you to divorce his wife and run off into the sunset with you?
While many might wonder how someone could fall for such schemes, Dober urges compassion.
“Maybe they’ve had a spate of really bad luck, really poor relationships, so they’re just feeling desperate or hopeful that this could be something positive for them. And I totally understand people asking ‘How can you fall for that? Are you serious?’ But again, try not to think of yourself, because maybe you’re a bit more street smart,” she said.
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