The last thing I thought I’d be at 40 was single. I was married for 15 years and thought we had a pretty good relationship, but that turned out to be a lie.
My ex-husband had been fooling around behind my back for at least five years, probably longer, and the only reason he stopped was when I caught him. Then, he told me he was sorry and left me for his girlfriend. He’s since moved on from her and is with a new woman and, of course, she’s a lot younger than he is. I give it a year or less. I’ve since heard from his brother that these flings never last long.
About a year after we broke up, my friend encouraged me to go on Tinder. I lasted a month and I will never go on dating apps again, for many reasons.
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I went on about eight dates and all of them were disastrous. The men were either juggling multiple women or still living with one or both of their parents. The worst were the ones who had never had a serious relationship before and were still stuck in their head as though they were teenagers.
One man, Tom, was super keen on me — or so I thought. We’d been messaging for a while and had some great chats on the phone. But when we turned up for our date, up he was clearly about 10 years older than the photo he used on Tinder. He was also overweight and absolutely stank of cigarettes — having posted a photo where he was slim and fit-looking and claiming he didn’t smoke. Imagine starting a date when you feel like you’ve been lied to?
I lasted an hour before I politely told him I needed to pick up one of my children and, thankfully, he got the hint that I wasn’t interested and I never heard from him again.
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Another disastrous date was with a man called Matt, who spent our entire coffee date bitching about his ex-wife. He swore his head off about her and at one point he mentioned he wished he could kill her! I said, “I hope you’re joking” and he laughed, but there was just something creepy about him.
Also, he asked me out for a date to Hungry Jacks and I politely refused. I don’t think it was a joke. I paid for our coffee and cake after he made a big fuss about how “broke” he was. Nothing about this man was remotely attractive.
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So now I’m just going to try to meet men the old-fashioned way: waiting for friends to introduce me to any single men they meet that I might like. Or maybe I’ll start going to my favourite bars again with my other single friends and hope I’ll bump into my future husband. Anything is better than trying online dating again.