“Back on the market” — Free Advice from Christy Sanborn | #bumble | #tinder | #pof | #onlinedating


Dear Christy,

I’ve been divorced for a few years now and I think I’m ready to find a new partner. I’m not to familiar with the whole online dating thing. Do you have any suggestions on how to get into it? I’m new to the whole concept.

Thank you,

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Back on the market 

 

Dear Back on the market,

First of all, how exciting!  What a great feeling to be ready for a new relationship. I am a huge fan of the online platform.  I actually met my husband on an online dating site! (Plenty of fish)  

To get started, you want to make a profile for yourself.  The easiest way to do this is grab a pen and paper and sit quietly somewhere. Make sure that you are able to devote about an hour to this process. I want you to draw a line down the center of the page.  On one side write, “What I am looking for.” On the other side write, “ What I’m not looking for.”  This is so important when looking for a partner. It’s vital that you take time to really ask yourself what kind of person I want? Do your best to be very specific about everything you’re looking for and everything you’re not. This process is very similar to looking for a house to buy.  The clearer you are about what you want the faster you will find it. 

Most people have an idea about what they want but it’s not very clear.  My list when I had one (10 years ago) was crystal clear. For an example, maybe you would like a man that has been married before but you are not willing to bend on a man that lives with his mother. Put that on the list. Tall, short, spiritual, physically fit, funny, generous, smart, bald, exc. 

Make the list and continue to add to it. When you are finished look at it and make a bio from it and post that to your profile page. It’s very attractive to potential dates to see what you’re looking for. This saves your potential dates time when they read this. Post this paper on your refrigerator so that you are constantly looking at it every day. The reason you want to do that is because knowing what you want makes it easy to recognize it when you eventually see it. When you find that person, you will  know they’re a match. 

One more thing. Pick 3 recent pictures of yourself. A few can be with other people and one of just you. Try not to post pictures of you with your kids if you have them. Someone wants to meet you not your kids (yet).

Once you have your profile and your pictures posted you are ready to go! This is a fun way to meet new people that you may otherwise never bump into.  Be picky, be yourself and have fun.  And remember, you will absolutely find what you’re looking for if you know what you’re looking for. 

All the very best,

Christy

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