Instead of kicking back and waiting for a message to pop up, it’s good to have a few opening lines for Bumble ready to go, especially since this dating app may encourage you to make the first move. That means scrolling through profiles and scooping up matches. But also knowing just what to say to get a conversation going.
Sure, it can be nerve-racking to be the one to reach out. And yet, “by making the first move, [you have] the chance to set the tone of the conversation, which usually leads to a more empowered relationship dynamic from the start,” Samantha Fulgham, chief creative marketing officer at Bumble, tells Bustle.
And it’s true! It can feel really good to be the one to ask an interesting question and spark a discussion. Compare this to matching with someone and then waiting around in silence for them to say hi. Where’s the fun in that?
When constructing an opening line, it can help to be specific. So give their profile a thorough once over, and see what jumps out. “By sending a personalized and thoughtful first message, it opens the door to the fun, playful exchange that allows you to share an instant connection with the other person,” Fulgham says. Read on below for a few lines that may help get the convo going, so you can decide if you’d like to officially meet up in person.
1. What’s Your Go-To Lie When Playing ‘Two Truths And A Lie’?
When playing this game, you probably focus on the two truths, seeing as those are the real things about you. But how interesting would it be to hear someone’s lie, and chat about why they chose it?
This question comes from the Bumble Convo Starters, which you can use if/when you’re not sure what to say. “Once you’ve chosen a Convo Starter that speaks to you, you can send the line as is or edit it to make it a little more personal,” Fulgham says.
2. Do You Have A Podcast You Learn From Regularly?
Another one from Convo Starters, this question delves into the podcasts your potential date might listen to in order to expand their mind, and not just leave on in the background whilst they shower — though those are fun, too.
This podcast can reveal a lot about their interests as well as what they’d like to know more about. Plus, it’s a great way to bond. (If you happen to love the same obscure podcast, you’re practically made for each other, right?)
3. Your Dog Is So Cute, What’s Your Favorite Park?
If someone posts photos with their dog, don’t hesitate to bring it up.
You might start with a compliment, Fulgham says, as a way to call attention to the adorableness of their dog. And then move onto specifics. This will not only (hopefully) lead to a conversation about pets, but it can also open the door to talking about your daily lifestyles, favorite local parks, and so on.
Hey, maybe you could even meet up with your dogs for a casual date outside? Just tossing ideas around.
4. I See You’ve Been To The Louvre. What Was Your Favorite Painting?
Folks love to talk about travel, which is evidenced by the zillions of vacation photos in everyone’s profile. (Or maybe that’s just when they’re most likely to pull out a camera? Who knows.)
Either way, travel can mean a lot to people, so it may help get a conversation going by asking about their most recent vacations, or favorite trips.
Again, be specific if you can by pointing out specific destinations. This will show you took the time to look through their profile, which is flattering. And specific questions are way easier to build on than general comments, which will help keep things flowing.
5. I’m Also From The Midwest. Did You Like Growing Up There?
Getting someone talking about their childhood, where they grew up, and why they did (or didn’t) move away can reveal a lot about them. It also offers a pretty much endless list of topics to cover.
If you grew up in the same area, you can take a stroll together down memory lane as you talk about things only the locals would know, or bond over a shared craving for [insert regional food here].
6. What Happened This Week That Was Interesting?
If you simply ask about someone’s day, you risk getting a brief and boring “good, how was yours” in response.
It’s tough to lift a conversation up after such a flat answer, so try to ask open ended-questions like this one, to increase the chances of it going somewhere.
It can also show you care about them as a person, and want to know more about their life and what’s meaningful to them.
7. Great Taste In Music! What’s The Best Concert You’ve Ever Been To?
Since it’s possible to integrate your Spotify playlist into your profile on Bumble, you may want to take a peek and see what they’ve been listening to in the music department.
Just like travel, they’ll probably have a lot to say if music is meaningful to them. It can also lead to a bunch of tangents, like favorite concerts, music you listened to growing up, and even instruments you play.
Oh, and perhaps even a few potential date ideas.
8. I See You’re An Architect. What Do You Like Best About Your Job?
If there’s one thing people can talk about without hesitation, it’s their job. Maybe they hate it and wish they were doing something else, and will want to tell you all about how they’re going back to school. Or maybe they love it and it helps define them as a person, and they’ll have countless things to say.
Whatever the case may be, this question shows you are privy to their profession, and want to learn more about what makes them tick
9. It’s So Cool You’re In A Band. How’d You Get Started?
While they might have many interesting things about them, choose the one that stands out the most and ask about it, such as their hobbies and side projects.
Are they in a band? Are they a photographer? Do they talk a lot about brewing craft beer? Ask how they got started. If it’s their passion, they’ll have lots to say, and you’ll learn more about them as a result.
10. You Seem To Know All The Best Restaurants In Town. What’s Your Favorite Spot?
One (not so) sneaky way to direct the conversation towards meeting up in person and going on a fun date is by asking about food, especially if they’ve posted photo upon photo of them grinning in restaurants. This will hopefully hit on something they’re passionate about, and give you something to plan for the future.
11. You Mention You Love Books. What Are You Reading Right Now?
If someone’s a fan of reading, the best way to get them to open up is by asking about books. Their favorite genre, what they’re reading now, their most beloved book of all time — the possibilities are endless.
Not only is this a great conversation starter, but it can also help you to get to know each other. Like podcasts, sharing a few fave authors can make it much easier to find common ground, and will give you plenty to talk about once you meet up.
12. Which Three Words Would You Use To Describe Yourself?
This one can be surprisingly tough to answer. After all, why would they choose to describe themselves as “funny, outgoing, and unpredictable”? Do they fancy themselves an adventurer? Are they into comedy? The follow-up questions are endless.
13. Looks Like We Love The Same TV Shows. Who’s Your Favorite Character?
If you aren’t in the mood for the more complex questions, go ahead and keep it simple by asking about their favorite TV shows, and TV show characters. This is nice and safe but will also launch a conversation about what you both watch and why.
14. You Might Love Pizza Even More Than Me. What’s Your Go-To Order?
Again, taking notice of something specific on their profile is a surefire way to connect. But with this one, it can set you up for a date night idea (because really, who can mention food without wanting to get some immediately?) and it serves as a way to get to know each other. Are they all about cheese? Or are they a funky pineapple and olives kind of person?
Of course, this can apply to any type of food or other mentions of restaurants they have in their profile. And if nothing else, it can be a fun way to learn more about where they come from, and what they like to do.
15. It Looks Like You Have Quite The Busy Life. What’s The First Thing You Do In The Morning?
A morning routine can reveal a lot. Are they the type to leap out of bed and jog in the park before returning home to eat overnight oats? Or do they laze around and get going in their own time? It’ll be interesting to hear what they do, and can help you to start chatting about what you care about.
It can be tough to know what to say when reaching out to someone for the first time on a dating site. But there are ways to make it easier on yourself, including scanning their profile, looking for things you have in common, and asking fun, open-ended questions. Follow these tips and you’ll have a great convo going in time.