#bumble | #tinder | #pof Ask AJ: Founding Fathers & FOMO


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Peyton Stotelmyre / Daily Nexus

I’m extremely single, and the loneliness of quarantine is starting to get to me. What are your pandemic dating tips?

I think this is a struggle many of us can relate to, and the appeal of finding a “quarantine buddy” grows daily. While I’m not going to encourage you to start a new relationship while shelter-in-place orders are still effective, there is no need for single souls to resign to isolation during these times.

If you haven’t already, apps like Bumble and Tinder can be at best very entertaining and at worst deeply troubling — either way, you’re in for a fun time. Even if you don’t feel like sliding into someone’s DMs to try out your cheesy pickup lines, you’ll get a good idea of what people are looking for, as well as the types of people you’d like to avoid once your horny ass is back out in the world. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and now is the perfect time to browse the seafood market.

Quarantine is also a great time to show yourself a little love, and while PornHub’s pandemic-conscious offer of their “Premium” service for free has ended, I think we could all benefit from a little … self-exploration in these trying times.

 

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Thoughts on Hamilton on Disney+ and which character you think is the most attractive? 

This doesn’t seem like an advice question, but I’m going to ignore that because it’s fun.

I must disclose that I do not have Disney+ account at the moment, and thus may not be able to fully engage with this question in the way you expect of me. I’d been mooching off my roommate’s account, but once she cancelled her subscription, I was left to decide between living in a Hamilton Movie-less oblivion or shelling out $6.99 per month to an terrifying, globally dominating megacorporation. I chose the former.

However, I do think it’s great that more people than ever before can see this staggering work of art! Traditionally, live musical theatre has been the forte of old, rich, white people, and I’m glad that the digital age may finally be knocking down barriers of accessibility to “live” theatre.

To get to the juiciest part of this question, I think I’ll have to disappoint you once again, since calling people who were at best blatant racists and at worst some of the wealthiest slave traders in the earliest days of the United States feels morally questionable. I’ve actually seen a lot of pushback online to Hamilton’s recent resurgence in popularity, due mostly to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sugarcoating of these truly problematic historical figures, contrasting starkly to the early “Thomas Jefferson Hitsune Miku binder” days of the Hamilton phenomenon. Now more than ever, I think it’s time to move past the monumentalization of the Founding Fathers and confront the many ways in which they were downright wrong.

That being said, I think Daveed Diggs is very handsome, and Lafayette seems like a badass.

 

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I’m stuck at home and about to murder my parents. What are some ways to cope?

I’m glad you asked this, because it gives me a chance to reflect on something I’ve been struggling with as well. I think that we tend to react most strongly to personalities that are similar to our own, for better or worse. This can create a lot of tension in parent-child relationships, especially during these formative college years. We, as the children, begin to see our parents not as just our caregivers, but as full people with gifts and flaws, which are often very similar to our own. If you inherited your mother’s stubbornness, for example, conflict with her will only be twice as aggravating, since you will probably feel like you’re arguing with a very familiar brick wall. Add nationwide social distancing orders, and it may feel like there’s simply no escape.

But fear not, there’s still hope. I’ve found that certain mindfulness and self-reflection techniques, such as meditation and journaling, help me to get to the root of my many aggravations with my boomer parents. When that feels like too much introspection to handle, I tend to flee the scene when tempers flare and watch some TikToks until the situation cools off a bit. After that, it’s up to you whether you want to engage in constructive discussion with the adult(s) that raised you or simply accept your differences and return to the dinner table.

This question has no one simple answer, and I think the key is trying out different solutions until you decide how to best move forward in your relationship with your parents as a brand-spanking new adult.

 

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I keep seeing all of my friends hanging out together mid-pandemic. How do I deal with my FOMO, while also knowing that they should still be in quarantine?

I am only going to say this once: Delete Instagram. Do it right now. You may think that your ability to see what 500 random people from your high school are doing every weekend enhances your life, but I promise you it is destroying your mind, body and soul.

If the people you’re seeing flaunt maskless hangouts are your close friends, I’d really recommend you reach out to them and discuss your concerns. Harboring silent resentment won’t do anyone any good. Let them know if you’re feeling excluded, and brainstorm alternative hangouts, like Zoom movie marathons or Jackbox game nights. If you feel comfortable with it and are able, try an outdoor, masked, social-distancing-friendly activity with one or two friends like going for a walk around your neighborhood or painting together in a park.

In the end, we really have no way to control the actions of others. We all have different priorities and responsibilities, and if you can’t find any way to meet them in the middle, you may need to temporarily mute some friends’ Snapchat stories to avoid the heartache.




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