It seems the lingering impacts of self-isolation and social distancing has caused an increased interest in finding ‘the one’.
That’s not just a thought coming from your resident single girl — it’s a sentiment, and a statistic, that’s resonating globally.
Dating App company Hinge revealed up to 70 per cent of Hinge users have expressed an interest in opting for a “zoom date” during the pandemic.
On Bumble, there was a 23 per cent increase in messages sent globally across 90 million users in a single week in March.
According to a representative from the company, Lucille McCart, there was also an additional 31 per cent increase of people using the app’s video chat function.
Yes, it seems love in a time of coronavirus has been typified by Zoom dates and a desire for longevity.
“We are always looking for safety and security,” psychotherapist Melissa Ferrari tells me when I ask her what it means to find ‘the one’.
“If you can look at that person and know they’re gonna have your back, then they’re the one because that will last.”
Ferrari has been an expert in the field of relationship psychology for over 20 years.
I’m an amateur in the field of relationships.
Together, we discuss the importance of bonding love, particularly as the world comes to terms with with the repercussions and trauma of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Do I feel safe and do I feel secure? That is the question that I always ask about love,” Ferrari says.
Like her last name suggests, Ferrari understands the speed with which we can feel feelings of love and lust for someone, as often what causes a damaging fall.
“The euphoric feelings we have in the beginning likened to being on drugs. All the hormones rushing makes us experience a cocktail of love,” she explains.
But before I have time to order that cocktail at a socially-distanced bar, she assures me “this feeling subsides in time.”
“Because everything is so wonderful, it’s important to know that’s not going to last. This is just the brain creating a bonding agent,” she reveals.
“What people don’t do in those early stages is really take those rose coloured glasses off and ask investigative questions.”
As a journalist, my interest piques – what skills could I have acquired on the job that could possibly increase the likelihood of finding true love?
Turns out, finding ‘the one’ may be more formulaic than we thought.
“There’s a point where you need to start to really look at who the person is and ask yourself: do we have compatibility? Do I feel safe with them?” Ferrari explains.
“Are they a win-win?, essentially.”
The pandemic, Ferrari explains, has submerged us all in a state of constant threat, heightening our desire for safety and fuelling our motivation to look for love.
“We can’t process constant threats, it’s just how the brain works,” she explains.
“If too many threats happen the love won’t be there, and that is why we seek safety, ultimately.”
While we exist in complex times and coronavirus has added a new layer of confusion to social interactions, Ferrari offers a simple metric of how to measure whether someone truly is ‘the one’ or not.
“They are the one person who can never have an excuse not to be there for you,” she tells me.
“Whether you’re at the hospital, a funeral, or at an event they definitely don’t want to rock up to – they’ve got to be the one who has your back.”
Curious about the concept of ‘the one?’
Bored at home and need something new to stream?
Watch Stan’s latest romantic comedy series “Love Life” starring Anna Kendrick, and follow one woman’s journey from first to last love.
Nine Entertainment Co. owns and operates the streaming service Stan.
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