#bumble | #tinder | #pof The Exec Fantasizing About the Dad Next Door


Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher

This week, a woman masturbating to various celebrities while juggling kids and a glamorous job: 43, divorced, Soho.

Day One

9:00 a.m. It’s my first time waking up at J’s house. Why is it that the nicer the apartment, the less I like the guy? I really wanted to like this one. We met on Bumble about six weeks ago. I’ve never been more than “meh” about him.

9:30 a.m. J wants to go to brunch. I’d rather go home. I’m hungover and need some me time. But he’s already thinking about trendy spots for us and he’s excited. I don’t have the heart to leave, but it makes me feel kind of repulsed how into me he is. I should be thrilled. There is nothing not to like about him … handsome, successful, kind, funny, smart, etc. He embraces that I have kids. Speaking of, they’re with their dad this weekend. I’ve been divorced since my kids were 1 and 3. Now they’re 6 and 8. J keeps trying to meet them but I’m resisting. I already know this guy is probably not for me, so why get him excited about being part of a family? He’s the kind of guy who really craves family. Again, it makes him pathetic to me.

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