Dating in Hawai‘i can be a horror show. 5 of our own ghosters and ghostees share their dating disasters.
50 First Dates anonymously chronicles the fun, romantic, wacky, bizarre and downright awful true experiences of dating in Honolulu. Check back weekly for new first-date stories, where to go to woo a boo, tips on where to meet people and more!
Ghosting is when one person decides to end a relationship with another person (be it during early dating days or something serious) by dropping all contact without any explanation. Ghosting is not a new thing. Ghosting should not be a thing. Unfortunately the Hawai‘i dating scene is no stranger to the cruel and unusual act, especially with many of our singletons relying on dating apps—the modern day form of matchmaking that does not screen potential disastrous matches and occasionally invites very creepy initial conversations. And d**k pics.
Can I get a … Hello?
“I met a guy at a dinner party in Kaka‘ako a few years ago and eventually we started texting. Soon enough it was pretty clear we were into each other. The only problem is he was living on the Mainland at the time, so after six months of flirting, I flew up there to visit him and try to see if we had something worth pursuing despite the distance. We hung out a few times and after he dropped me off and said goodbye, he texted me to say it was great seeing me. That was the last I heard from him. He didn’t respond when I reached out a few days later. I flew across the ocean for him and couldn’t even get a text back.”
“I was exchanging a few back and forth texts with this guy who seemed interesting and interested. One weekend we kept trying to meet up but things got in the way (one being yet another street festival in Waik?k?). I was ready to call it a day but he kindly persisted on trying for a Sunday breakfast date before my friends and I were to head out to Kailua. During our meet up we discussed how we were both newish to Hawai‘i and would like to try a rooftop bar together. When we next spoke over text I suggested we try one of those bars soon. He was down and asked when. I said Thursday. For eight months I thought he had died until he served me at a bar I frequent after work. He did an awful job of pretending he didn’t know me and then told me he just ate a lot of edibles. Good story, bro. Check, please!”
The Overly Generous Ginger
“One lonely night I was swiping up a storm on Tinder. I came across a bulky ginger and started a conversation with him. No judgement: I wasn’t looking for anything more than some fun and maybe even just a little ego boost. As soon as we started texting he made it clear that’s all he wanted too. Great. He suggested we move the convo over to Instagram and immediately started sending me d**k pics. I get it, we’re just here for the sexy time. I soon learned that he lives two blocks from me so I thought, let’s just make this happen. He said he needed my opinion with styling his new apartment. Game on. As soon as I started making a move and asked for an address and time he said ‘Maybe we should just get to know each other first.’ After a day or two more of texting (and him sending more naked photos) I stopped replying. I can’t say he feels like a victim of ghosting but it had to end somewhere. I don’t want to be horny pen pals with my neighbor. Whom I’ve never met.”
We didn’t even get to the rose ceremony
“I went on one promising Bumble date for Sunday happy hour. Monday night he texted me, ‘What’s occupying the Gabster?’ I told him I was watching The Bachelorette with my best friend and asked, ‘What’s occupying the Shawnster?’ I never heard from him again. He ghosted me on a conversation HE initiated. I guess he really hated The Bachelorette.”
Must love dogs … And shy girls
“I matched with this really cute guy on Bumble and we chatted a little bit. And by ‘chatted’ I mean it took him two days to reply to conversations he initiated. Anyway, one Sunday night I attended a dog festival at Ward Village and a tall, dark and handsome man caught my eye. My doggo and I were with my friend and her very young daughter so I wasn’t about to ditch her to make conversation with him. But I wanted to catch his eye at least. When he lined up behind me for beer I realized he was Bumble guy. I was embarassed since he stopped responding to me days earlier. I deliberately walked by him later and he gave me a very flirty ‘hi.’ I thought I gave a flirtatious ‘hey’ back. Later on that night I messaged him on Bumble to say it was me. He responded to say he was surprised that was me (but that I’m cute) and that he would have spoken to me if I didn’t seem taken. I apparently did not appear to be looking to meet ‘potential romantic partners.’ I’m pretty shy in person, which is why I use dating apps. We spoke a little more and then said he’d rather continue a story in person when we meet. I’m still waiting.”
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