Is falling in love a natural phenomenon, or can it be simulated by using manipulative tactics to lure someone you like?
When it comes to love, there are no limits to what a person can do just to achieve it. Some are even capable of taking extreme measures just to make this happen. One of those is through manipulation – a deceptive form of coercion. But is it really possible? Can a person actually manipulate someone to fall for them?
We’ll answer all those questions and finally get to the root of whether or not manipulating someone to fall for you is actually achievable.
What is manipulation?
Manipulation – or psychological manipulation – is defined as a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or abusive tactics.
When you look at it that way, you won’t be able to find anything positive about the definition – unless its benefits are in your favor.
In terms of relationships, manipulation comes in many forms. People in relationships can use manipulation to acquire gifts, dominance, sex, affection, etc. There are many ways in which they can manipulate their partner, and those methods can range from mildly amusing to downright disturbing.
But the real question is whether or not someone can manipulate their partner into falling in love with them. [Read: 16 reasons why people find it so easy to manipulate you and take you for granted]
How do people manipulate their partners?
They say that manipulation is a regular occurrence within relationships. Women are usually the ones being blamed for it, but men are just as guilty. It’s hardly plausible that a person would enter a relationship with the intention to manipulate their partner, but it does happen.
The manipulation part is just disguised as a need for control or to acquire something from their partner. Whether it’s a physical or emotional need, a person might resort to sneaky ways to get what they want – even with the best intentions in mind. Some people don’t even notice that they’re doing it, but it happens and it probably won’t stop anytime soon. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]
Just to give you an idea of how people in relationships manipulate each other, here are some examples:
#1 The guilt trip. A person can guilt their partner into doing what they want by bringing back a past transgression or pointing out something that they did for their partner.
#2 The passive aggression. These can come in the form of a mild tantrum, the silent treatment, or even a bitchy *not necessarily female-centric* disposition.
#3 The reverse psychology. Everything’s fine. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. *Nothing is fine. We’re not okay. You better do the opposite of what I’m saying, or else you’re dead.*
#4 The direct approach. What’s more effective than an actual request? The difference between a normal one and a manipulative one, however, is that you can’t say no to the latter. Ever.
#5 The relay. You’ll hear about their request from their best friend. Or their mother. Or your neighbor. Or your dog. [Read: 12 signs you’re being manipulated by your lover]
Do any of these methods work when it comes to falling in love?
Honestly, no. Those are just basic manipulation tactics done by people to get what they want out of relationships. None of those would be effective in making someone fall in love with you. It’s mostly because love is an emotion borne out of free will.
You can’t make someone fall in love, just because you’re wiling it to happen. It’s your partner’s prerogative and decision to do so.
Should you manipulate someone into falling in love with you?
Let’s call a spade a spade, and admit that you’re looking for a way to make someone fall in love with you. Ethically speaking, you should not manipulate a person to fall in love with you because, a) it’s wrong, and b) there is no empirical proof to justify that it is possible.
Admittedly, you can measure a person’s hormone levels and brain activities when they are allegedly in love, but who’s to say that it’s actually love? Maybe it’s just horniness, intense attraction, or even the adrenaline rush that comes when a person is faced with a challenge.
We admire your determination, but there are some things that you need to consider before trying to manipulate anyone into anything. First, you need to ask yourself these questions:
#1 Do you want a person to genuinely like you, or are you fine with orchestrating their attraction towards you?
#2 Are you trying to make them like you because you feel that their attention will validate your worth?
#3 Is this person the one that you’re looking for, or are you just settling?
#4 Will being in this relationship make you a better person?
#5 Will you be hurting other people in the process?
Once you’ve seriously thought about the implications of influencing someone’s decisions or feelings, it might make you think twice about trying to manipulate someone. You cannot play with other people’s feelings because it can affect a person deeply, especially if it damages one’s psyche.
Love is a very powerful emotion, and it cannot be taken lightly. Before you decide to influence someone’s way of thinking, you better be prepared to face the responsibilities, as well as the consequences.
How do you manipulate someone to fall in love with you?
For those of you who won’t back down without an answer, yes, it is TECHNICALLY possible to manipulate someone into falling in love with you. Or at least being more attracted to you.
Science says so. Several studies attest that it is possible to influence certain variables in order to make someone like you, but not necessarily fall in love with you.
#1 The closer you are, the harder they fall. A study showed that 54% of the couples who applied for marriage licenses lived near each other when they first started dating. With that in mind, you can choose to move to your crush’s district or stalk them. We recommend neither. The best thing you can do is ask them out as many times as sanity permits. [Read: 9 sneaky ways to get a guy to ask you out]
#2 Love thyself. Self-confident people are more likely to attract intimate relationships. Insecure people rarely achieve any sense of intimacy with the people they’re dating, thus making them harder to fall in love with.
#3 Opposites do not attract. People who are more alike tend to end up in loving relationships that progress to marriage. Most people are inclined to choose partners who are like them in terms of personality, background, interests, etc. Either date yourself, or find a version of yourself out there or as close to it as possible.
#4 Get them hot and bothered. Arousal is one of the key components to getting someone to like you. We’re not just talking about revving up your sex appeal. Emotional arousal comes in many forms, whether it is anger, sadness, happiness, excitement, etc. When you’re placed in an environment with a person, as you both experience emotional arousal, you are more likely to fall in love with each other. [Read: 10 flirty ways to build up the emotional tension]
#5 Skin deep. Sorry, everybody. Physical appearances matter. You can’t rely on personality alone. It’s science! But it doesn’t mean that you need to look like a model in order to make someone like you. Just improve what’s already there, and work with it. Someone’s bound to have you as their type, so just be the best you that you can be. [Read: 13 physical attraction tips to look way hotter effortlessly in no time]
Manipulation doesn’t seem so bad when you’re doing it to improve your chances, rather than trying to control someone’s emotions. Just remember that you can’t fake your personality, your sense of style or your values. You need to find someone whom you click with, so that you won’t need to MAKE them fall in love with you.
It will happen in its own time. While you’re waiting, why don’t you go and freshen up a little, and see what else the world has to offer?
Manipulating someone to fall in love with you can seem like the easy route to relationship success. But keep in mind that when you’re the one stage-managing your partner’s attraction, you’ll have to keep the ruse up in the hope that they’ll eventually be in too deep to be mad at you for manipulating them.
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