Dating, sex, breakup: all virtual since isolated | #tinder | #pof


Dating, sex, breakup: all virtual since isolated

Courtship in the Cordilleras up to the 1940s included a sort of trial marriage. Researchers described the olog, a communal hut where tribe lasses slept after home chores. Swains stayed in another dorm, the atô. By moonlight they paired off to court in poetry, supervised by the elderly babaylan (priestess). They were expected – encouraged even – to sleep together to know each other better. No obligations, except in pregnancy, in which case the couple must wed and build their own hut. The babaylan reported the betrothals to the parents. All needed to find a mate before time passed them by.

Around the world these days technology and coronavirus have altered romance. Credit smartphones and safe distancing. Dating, even sex and breakup, are going virtual. Emergent is a new language of love, compiled by 1843 Magazine.

In pre-pandemic Japan matchmaking, amiai, already was brisk business. In bars or parties professional matchmakers coaxed computer-paired blind dates to flirt then make out. But as COVID-19 dampens face-to-face rendezvous, dating outfits changed tack, 1843 reports. Presenting drive-through matchmaking, or doraibusur? o miai. Singles, quarantined apart, motor to vacant car parks of wedding chapels to ogle each other from drivers’ seats. They do some on-nomi, online drinking. If things don’t work out, it’s easy to speed off.

“Pandating” – online dates in time of pandemic – is a global trend. Distanced singletons watch movies at the same time via the Netflix Party app. Or, at the count of 3, they simultaneously press-start the show. (Corona-chill. A pal in America highly recommends that isolated romantics dim their respective room lights to wine and dine to a video-nightclub gig of pianist Brian Culbertson.)

Suggestive “sexting” ensues via keyboard. Lustful couples progress to “coronalingus,” which 1843 describes as the “swap of multi-megapixel masterpieces of their genitalia.” The prudish squirm at the mention of “airgasm,” that sweet suck-in of oxygen after hours of wearing a face mask. Aside from being confused with the Irish airline, “coronalingus” is misleading. A more tasteful term might be “farplay” (foreplay from afar). Whatever, some couples may be wary of leaving evidence of sweet nothings and torrid photos. 1843 advises the use of Snapchat, an app for exchanging images and texts that auto-deletes after being viewed.

“Zumping” is that cruel way of dumping one’s partner via Zoom. A message invites the victim to join the video meeting. And when that blue square on the touchscreen is clicked, the message pops up: “The End.” Enough to induce “coronanoia” from the use of that video-conferencing platform.

1843 picks up other coinages of the heart. “Cuomosexual” is a devotee of the handsome, articulate New York governor Andrew Cuomo. American talk show hosts Trevor Noah and Ellen Degeneres confessed to each other on air to being such. Comedian Randy Rainbow has written a song and launched a line of vests, jumpers and t-shirts proclaiming, “From now on I identify as a Cuomosexual.”

“Quarantinderen” is Dutch for using the Tinder dating app during pandemic. Health officials had prescribed in May that quarantined singles arrange a steady seksbuddy (sex buddy) to reduce multiple social contacts. For those without a partner on call, Tinder, popular in the Netherlands, saved the day, 1843 says.

“Covidivorce” are separations sparked by the strain on spouses of 24/7 COVID confinement. China in particular has reported a spike in marital squabbling over financials woes, childcare and house chores. Along with other newly discovered incompatibilities, divorce applications rose too. Worried, the government imposed a prior 30-day cooling off, called lengjing qi. But experts worried this might only expose battered wives to further domestic violence.

The Philippines noted a surge in domestic abuse too, but it has no divorce law. Can pandemic destierro make the heart grow fonder?

A Filipino coinage is “massked weddings.” City halls and Catholic parishes sponsor solemnizations of live-in unions en masse – properly distanced and all couples and priests in masks.

(Read also about “covidiot,” “asymptangatic,” “quatorzaine” and other pandemic coinages, Gotcha, Aug. 5, 2020: click here)

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