For single moms, jumping back into the dating scene can seem overwhelming especially when thinking about actually making the time to date. But it’s important for single moms to allow themselves to feel the excitement of meeting someone new. While the timing may never seem right and it varies for everyone, relationship expert and celebrity matchmaker, Jasmine Diaz, says one of her top dating tips for single moms is that they shouldn’t wait to get back into the dating scene.
“You’ll never find the right day, time, or opportunity to start dating again, so if you’re waiting for something magical to spark or a window to open, I’m afraid it will never happen. You must seize the moment and put yourself on the market before you’ve been priced out of the game,” says Diaz.
To be successful at dating again, Diaz says it’s important to stay current on the latest dating trends. Even just two years out of the dating game can put you at a disadvantage.
“Try new dating apps and engage with users who show interest. Being a parent shouldn’t equate to being uninformed. You may not be able to date quite as easily as someone without children, but you can still be current on trends.”
Here are three important tips for single mothers to keep in mind, according to Diaz:
1. Prioritize dating.
“As a parent, it’s hard to prioritize anything other than your child. Getting an hour to yourself is usually very difficult to come by, but if you’re serious about being in a relationship, you must commit,” she says. So, take advantage of the time you do have alone or even schedule playdates or drop them off at a parents to allow yourself the extra time you need to go on dates.
2. Date with intention.
“When you’re a single parent trying to make the best of your time, it’s important that you don’t waste it with people who don’t line up with what you need or want,” says Diaz. In other words, if you’re not feeling this new person, you’re not doing anyone any favors by continuing to go out with them because you feel bad. Worry about your time and your feelings.
3. Move at the right pace.
You can’t try to expedite a relationship because you’re afraid of being alone. Relationships need time to grow. “This is the absolute worst thing you can do for yourself and your child. Take your time and pace yourself. Finding the right partner is not a sprint, it’s a marathon,” says Diaz.
4. Don’t let fear guide you.
Dating is scary once you have children, and there are simply too many pitfalls to count. “All of this is an unnecessary mind game. You still have to get past the first date!” says Diaz. “Don’t let fear control your love life, because if you do, it may not be the life you want.”
5. Have a plan.
Dating with children is far too important to go at it without a plan. Don’t think you can just pick up dating and it will just work out. Consider your needs, wants, and goals for your relationship, then be strategic.
6. Consider hiring help.
“Moms never wear less than 10 hats, which means being many things to many people. But the reality of being a parent is realizing that you don’t have all the answers. Many of us are just winging it, but when you don’t have time to date or simply don’t know how to, hiring an expert is the most logical next step,” she adds. This can be in the form of a professional matchmaker, a dating coach, and online dating services.
If you’re ready to get back out there, go for it. Dating as a single parent can seem daunting, but it can also be rewarding, fun, and a way to invest in yourself.