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Hey, what’s up? It’s Ruwando here on behalf of Gotham Club, and today we’re going to answer a question from a reader.
This one is from Simon. He asks:
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This hot girl I’m seeing wants to do some pretty kinky stuff.
Tie me up and blindfolding me, etc… it’s awesome.
And I want to try some more dominance sex stuff with her, but I’m worried she’s going to be weird about it if I suggest flipping the power dynamic.
How do I ease her into more submissive stuff?
Alright, Simon. It’s a great question.
I’ll show you the truth below:
Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
The first thing might be obvious, but a lot of guys skip over this:
Talk about it.
With stuff where you’re putting yourself in psychologically vulnerable situations, you have to have explicit communication.
This is especially true if you’re going to go deep with it, or do it over a long period of time.
1) Own Up to Your Own Desires
If this is something you want, you have to say so to her face.
I mean, Simon, it sounds like you did like the the submissive stuff, which is great.
But if you want to switch up the dynamic, you have to bring it up.
And, you know, I don’t know if I can put a percentage on this… but most straight women DO enjoy being submissive.
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I think this is something that’s deeply archetypal between the masculine and feminine in people.
Unless she’s a super masculine women, or you’re a really feminine guy, it’s natural to feel this dominant-submissive pull.
Most straight women I meet who sa they only want to be in the dominant role have some sort of fear involving submission.
This is very often the case.
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Some women have this viewpoint, which I think is supported by our society, that submission is a lesser thing.
And tha’s simply not the case.
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If you understand that the “dom” is in service to the “sub,” then you can understand this.
The “dom” is creating a space where the “sub” can surrender his or her prefrontal cortical thinking, and just chill and go along with their emotions.
This is a very vulnerable state.
And essentially, the “dom” creates a space where the “sub” is safe to let go.
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And the “dom” is doing all these things that let the sub get off, which maybe you’ve been experiencing and enjoying being submissive yourself.
Most straight women who are afraid of that are afraid because they haven’t been around a strong enough masculine presence, to make them feel safe.
Which brings me to the next step…
2) Use The “Vulnerability Method” to Demonstrate Your Security…
So the next part comes down to being secure.
It comes down to being confident, and being willing to be vulnerable yourself.
So the fact that you’ve explored submission in yourself is great, because then she knows that you know what it’s like to be in that vulnerable state.
As a result, she’s more likely to trust you.
But going into that, you have to talk about it.
You have to find out if she has fears around it, and then you can move forward with baby steps.
I mean, if she has hardcore feminist conditioning of some sort, then on some level you might be battling against her ego.
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That said, there are some women who genuinely just want to be in a dominant role.
It’s far less likely with straight feminine women.
But I would say own up to your desires and speak up either way.
Then negotiate something where you can try it.
Start with something small, like spanking.
Or maybe you do a master-slave thing, or whatever–I don’t know what your kink is.
But set up some parameters and let her try it, because no amount of convincing is going to change her mind unless she tries it.
3) Feel Out Her Openness To Experiment…
If she’s resistant to it, the only thing that’s going to change her mind is if she’s willing to feel that way for a little bit–and recognize that it feels good.
She doesn’t have to feel unsafe.
You can put a collar around her or whatever it is you want–but you have to progress slowly, and make sure that you’re focusing on giving her the experience of pleasure when she is in that role.
Because as I said, a vast majority of men are naturally dominant, or they feel most alive in a dominant role.
There’s something about testosterone and being in charge and protecting things that the male brain is built to be attracted to.
So we feel rewarded when we do these things, in a way.
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Well, with women, it’s the opposite.
Unfortunately, society has shamed femininity for so long that everyone view submission as this negative thing.
And while yes, you can get taken advantage of, in the healthy masculine-feminine dynamic, submission is not a lesser form.
In fact, the “sub” is what the entire interaction is all about.
It’s all about the “sub”‘s pleasure.
And I mean, at the end of the day, it’s true that your desires might not line up.
But the only shot you have is talking about it, and giving an opportunity for her to enjoy it.
And if you’re coming up empty for ideas… here’s a really easy way I know to do that:
Introducing The “S&M Spank”: How To Spank Her Into A MIND-BLOWING Orgasm…
Spanking is one of those things LOVED by the vast majority of women… with a few rare exceptions.
This “S&M Spank” technique in particular is a great way to bring out a girl’s more submissive side… whether you’re an experienced dom, or just getting started in the kink world.
Click here now to learn how to do the S&M Spank ←
This move works so well because it starts off soft… (so you won’t freak her out)… and gradually gets rougher and rougher, so you’ll soon be able to gauge EXACTLY how rough this girl likes it.
Maybe she’s a bit of a snowflake… or maybe she’s a total freak.
It’s not always easy to tell. Hell I once with slept with a glasses-wearing kindergarten teacher who had a whole pirate’s chest of sex toys.
The great thing is, not only does this technique help you gauge how rough she likes it…
… but it also puts her in a position to fully submit to you, while allowing YOU to fully take control.
And the more she “lets go” with you… the more intense her orgasms will feel!
(Which means, as you may have guessed, she’s probably going to want to “submit” to you a LOT more often after that first time…)
It’s a win-win… so check out exactly how it’s done right here:
Click here right now to discover the S&M Spank that can unleash almost ANY woman’s “inner sl*t.”
The post 3 Easy Steps to Unleash Any Woman’s Submissive Side (And How To Dominate Her For MAX Pleasure) appeared first on Gotham Club.