#datingadvice | Sex Toy Tester & Fetishist Venus O’Hara Reveals 7 Kinky Secrets For More Powerful Orgasms (For Both Of You!)

Discover how to give any woman intense orgasms, straight from the mouth of an “orgasm activist”…

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Hey man it’s Craig… and today I’m going to share with you some original and expert-developed techniques for more pleasure in the bedroom, from expert and sex blogger Venus O’Hara.

Venus is an “orgasm activist,” and has made a living out of raising orgasmic awareness and helping real people have better sex, one orgasm at a time. 

How’d she end up making the pursuit of pleasure her life’s passion?

In her words:

Well, it wasn’t planned. I think the circumstances pushed me into sex blogging, which sounds a bit crazy, but I was in luxury real estate, and a lot of my clients had online businesses.

I was really inspired by them, and I thought, ‘I would like to have my own online business.’

I was also quite tired of working for someone else and not being appreciated like I think I should have been.

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So I thought, ‘It’s time. It’s now or never. I’m going to do my own thing, work for myself, and follow my dream,’ and I did that.

Very quickly, things started to fall into place. I was very afraid at the beginning, because I didn’t consider that I was a natural entrepreneur.

I was a kind of a crazy artist with an idea. I just wanted to live for my art, and that was it, really.

Since Venus switched careers, she’s published a Fetish Glossary, published over 100 articles as GQ Spain’s primary sex columnist, and three books, including a beginner’s guide to BDSM called Love Me Like You Hate Me.

She’s got a lot of knowledge to share about increasing pleasure in the bedroom, and today I’m sharing some of her best tips for giving the women you sleep with more intense orgasms, and always keeping the ladies in your life excited for more.

Let’s dive in!

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Q: What Are 3 Things a Guy Can Do to Ease Any Woman Into Kinkier Sex?

Venus O’Hara: Well, my approach to BDSM was always based on more of an intellectual attraction.

For example, with roleplay or even with sensuality, I’ve always avoided rough sex or painful sex.

And the whole point of the BDSM I was trying to promote was actually pain-free.

I did address some things like spanking.

That was the hardest it got to, really, because I’m not a big fan of pain.

I think pain is… I think it’s a weak way of dominating someone.

I think if you use your mind and your brain, it can be a lot more effective.

And also, there are other ways to punish someone if you want or to enjoy BDSM without it getting to the rough side–like sensuality or even sensory deprivation for example.

But I always say that the best place to start is with a blindfold.

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I think once someone wears a blindfold, instantly they are in passive mode, let’s say, and they’re kind of waiting to see what happens next.

And that can be very exciting and thrilling when it comes to female orgasm tips.

Then the next thing I would say would be to experiment with maybe feathers or tickling or something like that to try and relax the person.

And then perhaps maybe get into spanking or something, but that could be very, very gentle… I think there are ways of making spanking a very sensual activity.

Maybe that’s because I’m English. I love spanking, but maybe spanking’s a bit too much for beginners.

But I think my advice would be to go easy on anything that’s “rough,” I would say. I mean, not everyone’s into it.

I think you need to have a conversation about limits and sharing fantasies before you indulge.

Of course, as everyone says, it’s very important to use a safe word.

For me, personally, I love tickling. But that can be very hard for some people as well.

So yeah, I would say the standard thing would be a blindfold and perhaps some light bondage, something that allows you to escape.

For example, something I always recommend would be to take off the panties and use them, as a restraint on the wrists.

It works well because you can always escape, and it feels very sensual.

It’s mentally very thrilling as well, as someone takes your underwear off and then uses that to restrain you.

That’s very sexy. But, of course, limits must be discussed, and safe words.

 

Q: What Are Some Sexual Fantasies Women Have That Most Men Are Largely Unaware Of?

VO: I think it’s always tricky to kind of generalize with gender, and gender’s a kind of hot topic at the moment.

But what I have found, in general, is that a lot of straight women have fantasies about being with other women–about Sapphic sex.

Maybe they don’t want to have a lesbian relationship, but just that they’re very intrigued about the female body and enjoying another female body.

I think that’s something that a lot of people are intrigued about.

I know that The L-Word just started again recently, and I’m sure a lot of straight women will be watching and getting very bi-curious.

And who knows who will take the next step?

Q: As An “Orgasm Activist,” What Are Some Female Orgasm Tips Guys Can Use to Give Women More Pleasure & Orgasms During Sex?

VO: Well, I don’t think it’s really guys’ responsibility.

I always think it’s the woman’s responsibility to masturbate more and to make her pleasure a priority.

I mean, I receive sex toys all the time in my coworking space. And so many women look at them and go, “Oh my God, that looks amazing. Looks very intriguing.”

These are women who can afford to buy their own sex toy, but they don’t just do it.

There’s something stopping people from making sexuality and pleasure a priority.

So that’s my job, really, as an orgasm activist.

I wouldn’t say it was a guy’s responsibility.

The only thing I would say to guys is just it’s not all about the c**k. I think that the sequence of sex is usually kiss, caress, undressing, and oral sex, optional penetration, orgasm for him, always, and then end.

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If you want to get out of that routine, I think that is something I would really recommend, is to try and shake it up a bit and just maybe eliminate the penetration part.

Just focus on foreplay and do other things, because I think, otherwise, it can be very predictable and boring.

 

Q: What Are 2-3 Things Any Guy Can Do Right Now To Keep Women Satisfied in The Bedroom?

VO: In general, I think good sex is about 90% attraction and the actual feeling and energy you have with someone… and 10% technique.

So I think it’s really important to actually have sex with people that get you going somehow.

Because once you’ve got that, then the rest doesn’t really matter.

I mean, I’ve had sex with people in very traditional, conventional missionary, but there were fireworks because they were people that I really liked.

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So I think that’s the most important thing in terms of female orgasm tips, is to actually cultivate the energy and the attraction and all the things that are going on in your head first.

Because that will translate to your body, and it will be that much more explosive.

And, of course, communication, like everyone says.

 

Q: You’ve Developed a Sex Toy & Have Reviewed Many As Well–What’s A Good Beginner Toy That Drives Women Wild In Bed?

VO: Well, I’ve had this question so many times. Even in my coworking space, so many people ask me:

“Hey, I want to get my wife into sex again, because after having so many kids, they’re not interested now.”

I always recommend a wand massager.

I think a wand massage as the perfect toy to actually… for entry level, for example.

People aren’t scandalized by them, because you can use them for a massage on the back, on your shoulders, or on the neck.

And who doesn’t like a massage, especially if their excuse for not having sex is being tired or stressed?

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This is the perfect way to kind of just relax and enjoy some vibrations.

Then I would encourage the woman to actually use that toy on her own as well, or even with the partner, and finish with some clitoral stimulation.

That is something I really recommend.

But if you want to go for a more intense approach, then definitely go for something like a clitoral suction toy, because everyone loves them.

 

Q: Any “Tricks Of The Trade” & Female Orgasm Tips You Know to Help Guys Last Longer, Or Otherwise Have Better Sex?

VO: Well, to last longer, well, I would say edging is a great thing.

Edging is basically when you try and become very stimulated, then stop, and then get very stimulated, approaching orgasm.

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Just before orgasm, you would reduce the stimulation and have several edges, let’s say, before actually having an orgasm.

I think edging is a really big thing for male and female masturbation, and for sex as well.

I think it’s really hot.

And I think it can make things last a lot longer.

Keep scrolling to learn how to keep her satisfied and begging you for more…

Author’s Note: Here’s One Final Tip That Can Really “Skyrocket” Your Sex Life…

Eat this blood flow-boosting “snack” before sex.

Because it’s no secret man… your diet can really affect your performance in bed… and some foods (like sugar, and processed foods) can have a negative effect on your hard-ons…

… while other foods can wildly upgrade your sex life.

More specifically, I’m talking about these 5 veggies, which can work to boost your sex drive…

… help you get as hard as a baseball bat… AND last longer too!

They’re scientifically proven to boost blood flow all throughout your body…

… which is ESSENTIAL for a rock-solid, long-lasting hard-on.

So when you eat them together, it’s kind of like a ‘multiplier effect’…

… and can result in thicker-looking boners… more “spontaneous” erections… and bigger loads!

(Women love that in my experience hahah)

It’s been a lifesaver for me personally… (while it’s a little embarrassing to admit, I’ve had issues getting it up in the past)…

… not to mention it’s a hell of a lot safer for your heart than popping that “little blue pill”… or snake oil from a gas station.

The best part?

You might already have one or two of these foods in your fridge at home!

Click here right now to discover what these vegetables are, and start improving your sex life… and the sex life of your partner. 🙂

P.S. Most guys have no idea that THIS Asian root can give you girthier erections… think you can guess what it is?

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