#datingadvice | Swinging 101: Threesomes, Sex Parties & How to Find a Swinger Club Near You

Discover how to be a part of the swinger life below (whether you’re single or attached)…

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For a lot of guys, the swinger life is something one can only achieve in the movies.

However, the truth is, trading partners–or bringing someone new into the bedroom–remains a fantasy for many men in our community.

So that’s what I want to talk to you about today.

Hi, I’m Glenn Pearce–and as part of my new series, Ask Glenn, I’m answering all of your most difficult, burning questions that keep you up at night.

And today, I’m answering this one:

“How do I get started in the swinger life and community if I’ve never done it before?”

Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…

This next question is from Fidelio. Fidelio says:

Hey Glenn, my wife and I wanna get into swinging. Do you have any experience with this?

If so, where can we start?

I don’t wanna end up with some unattractive girl while my wife gets railed by some Handsome Dan from across the room. You know?”

Alright, Fidelio. I bet your concern is the same as a lot of men who are just getting started with swinging.

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And here’s what I have to say about it:

 

Why Your Biggest Concern Probably Isn’t Much of a Concern At All…

So first of all, what exactly is the swinger life?

The truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all definition I can give you, because there are so many different approaches to this unique lifestyle.

The main idea is that you have one primary partner but one or the two of you engage in agreed-upon sexual exploits beyond just the two of you.

Here are some of the popular swinging styles:

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    • Swapping: You and your sweetheart make friends with a pretty sexy couple–next thing you know you’re trading partners!
    • Threesomes: Two men and a lady or two ladies and a man or all one gender–doesn’t matter, this is an exhilarating way to explore a relationship.
    • Groups: More than three people interacting sexually–the possible dynamics are endless!
    • Cuckolding: If your partner were to consent to you sleeping with someone else and wanted to watch–or hear about it from you after! This one requires a lot of communication and trust.
    • Monogamish style swinging:

Beyond that, pretty much any agreed-upon sexual activity that happens outside of a primary relationship can qualify as swinging.

However, you don’t need to have a primary partner or primary relationship to consider yourself a “swinger,” or enjoy the perks of “The Lifestyle.”

I do have a little bit of experience with swinging, Fidelio, but not a ton.

First, let me address the second part of your question–“I don’t wanna end up with some unattractive girl while my wife gets railed by Handsome Dan.”

That’s not gonna happen.

Swinging is about swinging with other couples and other people.

Typically, Handsome Dan is gonna be with a hot, beautiful Barbarella-type girl. You’re not gonna really have to worry about getting an ugly girl while your wife is with a super-handsome guy.

It’s very rare that really handsome guys are f***ing, or swinging, with really ugly girls. That’s just the way it is.

So if you get in that situation–if the guy is really good-looking–then the woman he’s with is probably gonna be really good-looking too.

Where Do Swingers Really Go to Meet Up?

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You might be wondering where to meet these kinds of people in the first place.

Well, there are swing clubs. There are chat groups.

(If you’re in a swing club and a girl gives you on of these signs, she’d DTF.)

Every city and every town in America will have chat groups, swing clubs, swing bars and swingers.

You can start by going on Facebook and or Google and flat-out looking for groups that are into “swinging” or “the lifestyle.”

That’s because a lot of these parties are going to be at private homes.

For the ones that aren’t… Fetlife is another option.

It’s a site dedicated to all kinds of kinky sh*t, including where to find swinger clubs and the like… or at least it was last time I was on it.

Usually there are quite a few more private, “upscale” swinger’s groups in your town also. Hell for all you know, your next door neighbor and his hot wife are into “the lifestyle”…

Every town has like-minded people, so you should be able to find people in your area that are swingers.

But the way you broach it? THAT’s the important part (and more on that in a second)

Now are you gonna find good-looking swingers?

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Are you gonna find couples that you actually want to be with and want to be with your wife?

I don’t know.

Let me give you a hypothetical situation for a second:

Let’s just say the reverse situation happens–let’s say this super-hot girl is with some dude who you think is ugly.

Are you gonna be OK with being in the situation where you f**k this hot girl, and your wife f**ks some ugly dude?

I would be wary of jumping into this situation unless you and the woman you’re with are extremely comfortable with it. And I would ease into it if you can.

 

How To “Ease” Her Into Swinging (If She’s Hesitant)

To ease her into swinging, maybe bring another woman into the bedroom a couple times first…

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…then maybe bring another man into the bedroom.

That way,  it’s not just a total swapping thing right away.

Of course, if you’re like a lot of guys, then bringing up the subject of swinging with a woman might seem a little bit… “difficult.”

I get it.

But did you know that there’s a way to tell if a woman might be open to swinging with you… without asking her?

 

How Many Women Are Willing To “Swing”? The Truth Might Surprise You…

In my experience, there are quite a few women out there who are secretly open to trying swinging... but won’t admit it until you bring it up.

I call these women “secret swingers.”

Now, most of these “secret swingers” look pretty normal…

It’s not like they dress skimpy, or walk around with a sign that says “I want to f**k you!” or “I’m down to have lots of s*x with hot strangers” on it…

And in fact many of them look like the women you probably see at work, or during your commute…

… though there ARE some telltale signs you can look for, that reveal when a woman is a “secret swinger,” and is interested in you.

Once you know these… it’ll be a lot easier to find hot girls who are “DTS” (“Down to Swing”)…

…and even if you’re in a relationship… if you bring two girls with you to a swinger’s party… well sh*t, you’ll be the life of the party now won’t you?

If you see a woman do any of these things with her body, then it means she’s very likely kinky & DTF you (and whatever other women you might be with):

Click here to see what they are (controversial video).

[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on March 4, 2020.]
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