Dear Annie: I met this guy, “Bill,” through work. We hit it off. He’d told me he was single. Later, I found out through a mutual colleague that Bill had a girlfriend, “Julie,” a divorced lady with two kids, but he wouldn’t be able to marry her because his family wouldn’t approve their marriage. So, I confronted him. He stated that she was not his girlfriend and that our colleague made the whole story up. Bill and I started dating, and, after a while, I found out that he was still seeing this lady and hanging out with her. I confronted him again, and he stated that it’s not going anywhere with her, and she knows that, too. I do not believe that. I think, deep inside, she thinks she is dating a loyal guy and is waiting for him to propose any minute.
I realized that Bill is just using Julie to kill time to have someone to hang out with because he doesn’t want to be alone. But he doesn’t want to commit to either one of us. So, when she is not available, I am available, and vice versa. I feel sorry for her because she has no clue what is happening. She is wasting her time on someone who won’t commit to her. I know her name, her Facebook account, where she lives and lots more. I want to tell her the truth about Bill, but Bill will know that it was me who told her the truth. I’m scared because I don’t know what his reaction will be, and he knows where I live. Should I tell her the truth about this man? — Bad Romance
Dear Bad Romance: I commend you for wanting to help this poor woman. But it sounds as though you’d be putting yourself at risk. Focus on making a clean break from busy Bill, and trust that the other woman will see the light in time.
If you’re afraid for your safety due to possible retaliation from him, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for guidance.
Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our early 70s. He is not all that healthy: heart disease, diabetes and asthma. I am pretty healthy but a bit overweight.
We had to have our 18-year-old grandson move in with us one year ago. The move was due to horrid family issues with his mom. (That could fill a whole other letter!)
The issue is that he really would like to make frequent trips back to his hometown, which is 50 miles away, to visit his siblings and friends. We’ve been pretty limiting in letting him go, due to the coronavirus.
We let him go for two weekends, and he just did not seem to get it. He was lax in his use of PPE when visiting. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I do not know what to do. We want him to keep up with his friends and siblings but are terrified he will bring home the virus.
He is very involved on FaceTime and social media, but it is just not the same as hanging out, we know. We realize how hard it has been to be so far away from his siblings and friends. But we do not want to die! I really do not know how to best handle this. — Nervous Grandparents
Dear Nervous Grandparents: Not wanting to die is a perfectly reasonable wish. Stand your ground with your grandson: He can wear PPE and practice social distancing on these trips, or he can stay home. The choice is his. We’re all feeling isolated and tired of living this way. But the pandemic isn’t over just because we’re over it.
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