Dear Annie: I’m 48 years old. I’ve been a single mom since I had my first kid — in other words, since forever. I’ve never really had healthy relationships with men. I’m way too trusting and just want love so badly. A few months ago, I accidentally texted a man I knew from high school. We ended up striking up a conversation, texting back and forth for a few days. Then he called me a couple of times, and we had long talks. We became friends on Facebook. I was so interested, as he seemed like a very good man: 20-year veteran, retired, single father, hard worker. I could tell that family was important to him. And he was so good-looking. After two months of chatting back and forth, I asked to meet him. He said, “Maybe after some more time.”
After another month, I said: “Can I please meet you? I just want to see you in person, even for 5 minutes.” For some reason, he seemed to panic. He said: “I am going through something professionally. I may be moving out of state and don’t want to get attached.” I decided that he was worth the risk, so I pushed on and asked questions. He got angry and blocked me. For two weeks after that, I tried to contact him, but he kept me blocked. I just don’t understand. Our friendship meant something to me. In our last conversation, when I brought that up, his only response was that “we weren’t together.” I understood that. But why would he not just let me meet him? I’m too old to be this confused. — Lost
Dear Lost: It sounds as though he’s the one who’s lost and confused. You know what you want. Thankfully, your directness flushed out these issues after just three months; otherwise, this could have dragged on for who knows how long. Don’t get discouraged. There are plenty more good men out there who value family — and who are looking for a relationship. While the pandemic makes in-person dating risky at the moment, you can connect with potential partners on dating sites such as Match.com and eHarmony and go on FaceTime or Skype dates to see whether you feel a spark.
Dear Annie: I’d like to share my response to “Working From Home Works.” In the past, I also had at least an hour’s drive to the office. Talk to your boss. He might consider some compromise, such as allowing you to do three days at home and two days at the office. That approach worked well for me — the best of both worlds! Initially, bosses may think that you goof off at home. But in time, they’ll likely find that production is higher, and then they are happy. — Worked for Me
Dear Worked for Me: Indeed — a hybrid remote and in-office approach might be just the thing to make life workable for long-distance commuters and managers alike. Thanks for writing.
Dear Annie: Not long ago in your column, you featured a letter from a gentleman asking what to do when he was asked to write a recommendation for someone whom he was uncomfortable recommending. I was reminded of a time, many years ago, when I worked for a human resources director who was widely regarded by every employee and was asked often to write recommendations. When he was asked to write a recommendation for someone who wasn’t a great employee, he solved the problem by writing, “If you can get (name) to work for you, you will be a very lucky person.” I don’t think any of those requesting the references ever caught on. — Bonnie R.
Dear Bonnie: Thanks for the chuckle!
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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