EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend


Working with an ex boyfriend is always a tricky situation to be caught in.

Today we hear from a woman who is in that exact situation.

She doesn’t exactly have a name though.

Well, she probably does but she didn’t give it to me. Instead, she gave me a handle to call her by.

What’s the handle?

“Is There Hope”

So, from this point forward any time I refer to the woman in this episode I will be calling her “Is There Hope.”

Here is a brief synopsis of her situation with her boyfriend,

  • She dated him for 3 months
  • They currently work together
  • The live 40 minutes away from one another
  • Her ex was really big about communication
  • He is 37 while she is 28
  • She wrote him an apology letter after the breakup

What I Talk About In This Episode

  • Apparently I am a lover and not a fighter (though I am not sure I buy into that.)
  • What I think were a few contributing factors into the breakup.
  • The importance of communication
  • The rules for working with an ex boyfriend
  • How to handle working with an ex boyfriend
  • My special tactic for… oh, you will find out if you listen to the entire episode from start to finish ? .

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

The Importance Of A Game Plan

As Ex Boyfriend Recovery has grown bigger and bigger it has become quite challenging for me to stay on topic with a lot of the things that I need to get done. So, lately what I have been doing is creating little game plans for me to follow every single day so I can get everything I need to get done.

Guess what the results of doing that have been?


It really highlighted how important having a game plan and sticking to it is to me.

So, I want to re-iterate to you that if you are going to try to get your ex boyfriend back you absolutely need to have a game plan.

Here is the game plan for “Is there Hope”


Step One- Make The Correct NC Alterations

There are certain alterations that you are going to have to make to the no contact rule if you work with your ex boyfriend. For example, you need to keep things strictly about business and in the event that your ex boyfriend does come up to try to talk to you about something other than work make sure you give him a vague response.

Step Two- After NC Send Mixed Signals/Flirt/Friendzone

Do you want to know the best way to mess with a mans head?

Friend zone him…

Then flirt with him…

Then friend zone him again…

Give him mixed signals at work so he doesn’t know what the heck is going on.

Step Three- Follow The Texting/Calling/In Person Layout

You really need to pick up PRO to get an in-depth layout of what you need to do here.

Basically you want to implement the normal game plan that is in that book.

Step Four- Leave Him Wanting More

I do something really clever in the episode to demonstrate how to do this.

(Hint Hint… Listen to the very end.)

View full post on Ex Boyfriend Recovery


15 thoughts on “EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

  1. Help

    Hello. I am having a hard time. I really love my ex. He said he doesn’t love me anymore. We dated for two years. He is now seeing this girl who was suppose to be a friend of mine. What do I do. How can I win him back

  2. Very

    Hi Chris,

    So I am new to this and I needed some advise. My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and we both work together! he has told me he cant be with me right now but hes in love with me still. The other day he found out I could potentially be meeting a guy for a drink and he did not like it one bit infact he walked out of work. He keeps telling me to move on as it will never work out and its gone too far and he does not want to see me to talk and I need to get over it (he expressed how much he does not want to see me.. although when I tried and was due to meet someone he text me straight away saying its funny how quick things change!! ARRGGGGG how do I work out what he wants?!

  3. Kaylee

    Hey Chris, first off thanks for the great advice you give everyone. I’ve also purchased / read PRO. Me and my ex guy are musicians together. We see each other 5-6 times a month. Together approximately 2yrs. Didn’t really have any break up talk. I had to read between lines… so 2 weeks ago decided to start no contact. The past 2 times I saw him I kept it cordial and brief when he spoke to me. the end of both nights he sent me a text message but I did not respond the last one being he hated not having me around to chat. Funny since he cancelled plans twice on me when I wanted to get together. I’m sure he’s dealing with baby momma issues. Anyway today when we were together he got me alone and told me he knew I was ignoring him and would not be sending any more messages that he could take a hint. I didn’t know what to say but I just said okay and that we probably shouldn’t talk about it. I plan on continuing no contact, but I’m not sure how well it will work for me since he will try to talk to me just to get me talking to him. And we have to talk business. What do you think? Will no contact work when its only part time?

  4. Chris Seiter

    I think at this point its a smart idea for you to work on building some attraction with him through text messages. Go slowly though.

  5. Brigid

    My 30 days of no contact went well. He contacted me multiple times, and I never called or texted back.
    He even asked me in person if I was getting his calls and texts after every one.
    I’ve been professional at work, happy and friendly.
    Crossfit doesn’t hurt either.
    He came over today to say hello and see my dog. It was friendly, but I didn’t want to be overly friendly. Cautious.
    I just got a text that said thank you from him.
    I don’t really know where to go from here. I still want to get back with him, but I also don’t want to string myself along if I’ve been friend zoned.

  6. mandy


    My ex and I work in the same industry. We don’t work for the same company, but we do go to the same events. I just started NC five days ago, but there is a huge event coming up on Friday that I’ve been planing on going to since before we broke up. There is a 50/50 chance he will be there. I don’t want to not go since I’ve been looking forward to this event, and there will be a huge group of people there.
    I am super serious about doing NC and am concerned that this could throw a wrench in my plan. As of right now I am planing on going to the event and bringing a few work friends with me to act as a buffer and to run interference for me. Do you have any advice? Should I go and just not interact with him? Should I make other plans? I just love this event so much, but I don’t want to ruin my NC.


  7. Moon

    Yesterday I sent a ‘goodnight’ message to him, used some nick name we used to use. But he didn’t reply anymore. What does he want?????

  8. Chris Seiter

    Hmm… I don’t think it will be as effective.

  9. Chris Seiter

    I wasn’t as into Fast 7…

    He is trying to be nice and its going to take baby steps to get him back but you are making progress slowly but surely.

  10. Chris Seiter

    I guess he wasn’t in to the celebrity comparison, huh?

    What celebrity did you use?

  11. Is there hope?

    Hey Chris,
    I am wondering if there is a chance it will be harder to get my ex back after NC if he is focused on his (possibly) dying mother. I have confirmed that she is doing okay for now, but will this make a difference in him missing me or deciding to take me back? I see him everyday at work and I feel horrible for not asking about her. Will he think I’ve stopped caring?

  12. jess

    Hello Chris! Does the same concept, flirt and friend zone him, apply when he has a girlfriend?

  13. Moon

    My ex, I don’t know what’s on his mind. It seems like he always tries to be nice with me. When I text him, I can feel that he doesn’t care much about the conversation, but he still replies. Today is an example. I texted him about Fast 7 – his favorite movie. I knew that he saw my message because he was on mobile all the time, but he hadn’t replied me yet. But after 3 hours at the middle of the night, he texted me a goodnight message. He is trying to be nice right? He is afraid of hurting me or he still have feeling for me and still confusing about the relationship (I mean he is having an idea of coming back)????? Of course I am really afraid that he will be cold to me, but I really want him to show his attitude clearly. He’s unclear now. He makes me keep hope and I don’t want to be disappointed.

  14. Meo

    I have done 30 days of NC. Today I texted him a ‘celebrity comparison’ message but he didn’t reply. I am really upset now :-< He had replied positively many message of mine, but this time, he didn't. It seems like I reached his limitation that he can't be nice with me anymore :((

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