EBR 037: Your Ex Wants You Back But You Don’t Want To Take Him Back

What’s up and welcome to another episode of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast.

Before I start getting into the build up of this episode I just wanted to take a minute and thank you for being the most incredible fans in the world.

For all of you who have commented, emailed, read and bought my products.

I really appreciate you.

Sometimes I get so into what I am doing that I take what I have for granted and I can honestly say that the only reason Ex Boyfriend Recovery is what it is today is because of you.

Yup, without YOU this website wouldn’t exist so thank you for all of your positive feedback over the last several years.

Anyways, lets get down to business here.

Today we are going to hear from Lisa.

Lisa has a very interesting question but before I get into that here is a quick rundown of her situation,

  • She is currently in a relationship with her boyfriend (who she named as A)
  • She has been dating A for 5 years
  • Recently her ex (who she named as T) has gotten into contact with her and has been begging for her back
  • He is saying things like they are soul mates and that the universe wants them to be together.
  • Here’s the kicker, Lisa had only dated T for a week
  • So, she wonders why he is so persistent about getting her back when they essentially have no history together
  • She also wonders if he is just crazy or if he is lonely due to the fact that T just got out of a relationship and is hurting

Here’s a quick rundown of what is talked about in this episode,

What I Talk About In This Episode

  • The importance of her ex (T) recently going through a breakup
  • Whether or not Lisa should leave her current boyfriend to be with (T)
  • What she should say to her current boyfriend (A) about (T)
  • Whether Lisa would be a rebound if she got back with (T)
  • The Grass is Greener Syndrome
  • Why I believe (T) is being so persistent
  • Whether (T) is just flat out crazy or acting crazy based on his loneliness

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

Is Lisa’s Ex Boyfriend Crazy or Lonely?

Based on everything that Lisa said in her voice mail recording I am not sure I buy into the fact that her ex boyfriend is completely crazy.

However, I am not sure I buy into the fact that he is completely lonely either.

Yes, there is evidence that shows that he is both crazy and lonely but I think the reaction he is having is based on something entirely different.

Oh, and in case you don’t know what I mean by “reaction” I am talking about him telling Lisa that they are meant to be together. You know, the whole soul mates and universe spiel.

So, what’s going on in his mind to make him act like this?

Well, your going to have to listen to the whole episode to find out .

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15 thoughts on “EBR 037: Your Ex Wants You Back But You Don’t Want To Take Him Back

  1. Chris Seiter

    NC can work in this situation!

  2. Chris Seiter

    How many texts has he sent you so far during NC?

  3. sweetie

    hello chris….my ex is begging to talk to me during nc what should I do plz advice me….

  4. Sarah

    Hi Chris,

    Agai I broke no contact as Im unsure if its the right thing given his current situation with his cancer and what I believe is his depression. I used another first intiation text, trying to jog his memory about an amazing trip we had to Queenstown, NZ (We are from NZ). Basically he responded straight away but eventually he turned it around into a sexual chat, about the things we had done on that trip. I had felt like things were going well and invited him to meet me for a drink, and he asked where I wanted to go and I replied (somewhere between our two houses, in the middle). And he completely ignored my answer and carried on making sexual responses. I tried to end the conversation on a high, trying to leave him wanting more based on your module about how to seduce a man. I guess today I feel pretty crap, like Im an idiot. To be honest I feel really rejected.
    He was very into the conversation (obviously) but I didnt get what I wanted out of it (a meet up) and Im afraid he is only into the sexual side of our past relationship now rather than for me as a whole. When we broke up, he made it clear that he hadnt stayed with me just for sex, it wasnt about that, because he said if he wanted sex it wouldnt be hard to get it elsewhere, so he wouldnt have stayed with me if that was all he was after.

    Im now thinking that maybe the no contact was right. I should be keeping my distance… make him miss ME.
    But im pretty sure he will be talking to other women. I know he does this for his ego, which hurts me to think about, but I understand in a way.

    Ive also got this other guy actively pursuing me. He seems nice, but it only makes me realise that he isnt the one I want. I want my ex, but it also hurts that my ex isnt making any effort like this new guy is.

    My heads all over the place.

    Can you give me insight into if NC is the right move here given my situation? I really dont know what to do…

  5. M.

    My ex boyfriend who has a gf a year now still keeps me on fb(without talking or like anything of course). He owes me Money that hasn’t given me although he said he would and I already has asked them once.I kept him too because I followed your advice and tryied everything you said but nothing.I can’t stand him anymore,mostly because she seems to look like me in appearence and character,it’s so disturbing and I feel very akward starting a conversation with him even to just ask my Money. lately he’s started posting photos with the two of them everytime I post sth and I can’t stand it anymore.Also he changed his profile photo to one with her kissing him and his cover with a quote saying sth like ”to tell you the truth I don’t feel anymore…I’m sick of it”..I have no idea if that went for me or no but I really see no hope winning him back..I feel such a loser, I want to just delete him..What do you beleive?Is it over for good?? What should I do?

  6. Sarah

    Thanks Chris, its been extremely hard…
    I did my best to support him, encourage him, and tried to keep things light for the most part and cheer him up when I could. In the end I guess he possibly was trying to protect me by pushing me away, and maybe he thought he just couldnt handle being in a relationship when he only wanted (and needs) to think about himself.

    What I then wonder is, will NC be the right move here still given the situation? I broke my initial contact two days into it, complimented a drawing he did and had put up a picture of. Basically said id forgotten how good he was at drawing. He replied straight away (via snapchat) with a photo of his drawing and that he was enjoying getting into it again :). I was mad at myself for breaking no contact so I didnt reply. Well, for an hour. Then I sent him a message saying I got caught up with something, but that id watched a movie we had once seen together at the movies, and that it had reminded me of a certain funny moment and that the look on his face was hilarious, and that it made me smile thinking about it. Basically i sent an early first initial text – I guess to gauge where I stood with him mood wise – if he was angry, or hurt, or what.
    He responded immediately and laughed about the moment I mentioned and said it has been a fun night. I agreed that it had been a funny night, that it had been the hardest id laughed in ages I knew i had to end the conversation first and told him I was heading out (I may have fibbed) and to have a good night. He responded again straight away and agreed again it was a lot of fun, and said okay have fun goodnight. Ive now on day 2 of NC (again).

    Im just not sure whether NC is the right move, or if remaining in contact given his current mood towards me and the cancer situation is okay?

    Really want this man in my life.

    How do I convince him that even though he is possibly depressed, that that doesnt change the way I view him or the fact I still want to be with him?


  7. Maddy

    Hi Chris,
    My Boyfriend broke up with me day before. He had actually done that last week too but then we patched up again. He says we can be friends and nothing more. His reason is that he is not able to concentrate on anything but me. This is a really strange reason to break up with someone. I am certain he is not cheating,etc so that is out of question. All he says is he can’t concentrate on his career and family along with a relationship. He says we have no future as we live in two different cities. This I do not think is a huge problem as this comes into picture when he goes back (we study in the same city and live nearby. This is my actual residence and he lives approx 8hrs from here) .The future he is talking about is two years away. He says we share a very strong bond and if we don’t break up now later on will be a difficulty. This person spoke to me of getting married only a month ago and suddenly out of the blue he broke up saying his condition (being lost and not being able to concentrate) only he understands. I tried to help a lot but he pushed me away. We are in the same class so no contact will be difficult. Although he did say we can be friend and nothing more. Please help me understand what this issue is. Is there any hope? What should I do?

  8. Jessie

    Hi Chris, to answer your question, yes we’re currently married. Got married a year ago.
    So based on my last post, do you think my chances are weaker now and I should move on? Or chances are strong enough to try again?

  9. Chris Seiter

    I haven’t created it yet but if you keep checking the site I will unveil it eventually.

  10. Chris Seiter

    I wouldn’t say they are ruined at all.

  11. Chris Seiter

    Thanks for the nice words Jessica.

    I think self focus is a smart thing for anyone after a breakup.

  12. Chris Seiter

    Wait, so you guys are currently married?

  13. Chris Seiter

    You can make it last as long as you want.

    Well, I take that back.

    No longer than 60 days.

  14. Chris Seiter

    I say reasses in a month or two and see how you are feeling.

    You may find you don’t want him back after a month.

  15. Chris Seiter

    If I had cancer I would probably push people away too…

    That’s what I think is happening here.

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