Filippo Salvatore Travisany
Motive – I wish someone had been honest w/me in past relationship (and told me when they knew my ex-husband was cheating) and in this relationship w/Pippo’s cheating. Even when I asked him on phone yesterday (8/13/15) he still completely denied anyone else. He said “I have to deal w/my life and go a different path, there’s no relationship in my future, no room for relationship at all…you know I’m dealing w/paternity issue and have to go on this solo”.
I asked him if “she” knew about me (toward end of convo before he hung up on me) and he said “why don’t you ask her?”. I told him it’s his responsibility to tell her and me. I had a few other choice words and told him he has zero integrity or moral compass and is a lying, inhumane, cruel piece of trash. Liars are liars thru and thru. He knew enough about me and I about him and we’d agreed we’d be honest w/each other. Except I was the only honest person in this relationship…from the first date.
Filippo and I started texting in January and started dating 3/19/15 (6/27/15 he told me he had an ex he’d had a fling with over St Patrick’s day, who claimed to be pregnant w/his baby…so 2 days before we went out). Before telling me she was pregnant he said he had no room in his life for relationship b/c he’d be gone more than he is now. I told him that doesn’t mean we just end. His response was “we just need to talk and figure things out”. 3hrs later he told me about “pregnant ex” as a result of fling and that she was in her 2nd trimester and he didn’t know what to do. (I’ve screenshots of the Whatsapp chat this day…and everything else for that matter).
In fact I’ve got all of his lies documented (imessage, whatsapp, fb….all of it). His love for me, his future desires, his plans w/me and vice versa. In the deployed age of digital relationships, he had no idea he’d be caught. His ability to smoothly manipulate people is clear, just that consequences come at different times in different forms.
I found out yesterday 8/13/15 about Sydney and that he’d had relationship w/both of us entire time. She’s got her own relationship issue and that’s between her and husband. It’s unfortunate a child is being brought into a foundation of deceit and malicious intent but children are always the innocents in these type of affairs. His other 3 children (J, N and E/J included).
I asked him on our first date if he had a gf or wife…I laughed at the time b/c I’ve met guys before who had one and later said “you never asked”….so I asked. He said, “noooooo, of course not…I wouldn’t be here w/you if I had a gf or wife. I promise I wouldn’t be here if there was anyone else. I’m SUPER single.” Conversations later about cheating were met w/his response of, “I’m far too selfish to want to share you or myself w/anyone else”.
I met his son, N, the next week when picking them up at DIA from spring break in Cali/Tahoe, where he was visiting another child he’d fathered (E/J). That son was on his fb profile pic and I’m not stupid, it was obvious it’s his son but he didn’t want to tell me story for almost 2mos. Figure that’s his business and when he told me he expressed that he felt bad he didn’t see his son more. He was never clear what went down b/w him and H…’they grew apart’…I didn’t judge him on his past as I was in a relationship w/present day Filippo.
From that point on it was lots of making dinner at Pippo’s place w/N and watching shows, xbox, and living a little existence together. French press and breakfast in AM, errands in afternoon, dog park, movies. His desire to impregnate everyone in sight included me. I want a family and loved watching him as a father. I felt reassured by his words and actions. Unfortunately a man with no morals makes a terrible father. His children are tragically paying for his unwillingness to take responsibility as a man and be faithful, as he promises. I asked hard questions and he answered w/o hesitation (minus lying about Sydney…and everything else I’ll never know).
Laying in bed w/him one night I was upset and told him I felt he was hiding something, something felt off and asked again about a wife/gf. He said, “baby, there’s no one else…I promise…have a little faith, we are good”. He’d detailed past women he dated and whom he’d introduced N too but never mentioned Sydney. He said exes are exes and he never goes back. He said it doesn’t work and when he’s done w/someone he’s done. I feel the same. (Ie taking an ex back is like trying to put sh*t back into your as*hole)
The Cruz wedding in Boulder in May. He told me all about his best friend and how long he and his fiancé had been been together, etc and being in wedding party. He neglected to include he was going w/Sydney and she was booking airbnb for them. He came to my house the night the party ended and slept w/me.
I re-read our fb convos and he asked me to wait…give him the next couple years and we’ll make it work w/high tempo and wait out his operational status and we’d move to Denver. Plans for contracting, J living w/us while going to school, having kids, all of it. His excitement over planning the next 10-15yrs is documented in that same conversation. (screenshot available)
In May (while already deployed), he sent an unprompted text saying “I’m going to send you a picture and I need to explain”. It was a screenshot of a list of phone numbers and his saying “take care _____, nice talking to you”….he went on to tell me that it was all the girls he’d dated over the past couple years and he politely told them to take a hike and blocked their numbers. He had no reason to tell me anything about it but he said he wanted me to know how serious he felt about us and that I deserved his love and devotion and he wanted to prove to me how committed he was to us. (*I contacted all the women in the screenshot after dumping him, only to find out they’d had similar experiences and some have commented on original post – see below). I took him at face value as relationships built slowly on trust (versus believing everyone is lying) are the only healthy way to start a life together…or even simply date.
I spent the past 3mos taking care of his place, his vehicle, getting his mail, sending him things he needed and care packages, dropping clothes to N, being supportive and kind even in aftermath of him ‘feeling so bad about pregnant ex and having to tell me via text”. Hard drive, shoes, magazines, gear…whatever he needed. He asked me to “wait for him and be a good girl” as he wouldn’t have asked me to ‘go on this ride of a life’ w/him if he wasn’t serious. In his words “other suitors have come and gone brohansolo long before this bad boy takes off on a trip” and he asked me to wait, he knew I’d be faithful. I choose to live w/integrity so it wasn’t a hard choice, as I loved him. Unfortunately his inability to be honest impacted me and everyone else (his children, this guy has no conscience…I’m more upset for what he’s doing to his children than anyone else in this scenario…. such a worthless father) in the wake….collateral damage.
I don’t want anything from him, nothing he can say at this point changes the fact he lied and lives as the stereotypical SOF infidelity, selfish, narcissistic, fighting, fu**ing liar. Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Someone w/empathy or compassion or honor or integrity or even genuine human emotion would’ve fessed up yesterday when I asked him to tell me the story and be honest w/me. Bottom line-> integrity would’ve kept him from getting involved w/me in the first place. Tell me the truth b/c he owes me that. I’m very aware of the oath he takes to wear the uniform. He doesn’t live up to a fraction of that. Even the company he contracts for has a mission statement “Our mission is simple: To recruit, train and employ the world’s finest individuals that demonstrate at all times the highest level of professionalism, integrity and honor.” I asked him why she waited 2 trimesters to tell him she was pregnant (as he told me on whatsapp). First he said she didn’t know she was pregnant (that’s bullsh*t) and then he said, I don’t know…I’ve no idea. Husband? And hiding it from J (daughter) so she doesn’t hate her. They really do belong together.
He never intended to tell me he was in relationship w/her entire time. He wouldn’t tell me the story or anything and repeatedly told me to ask specific questions. I asked him where he’s planning on living. He said, “you know I live on Nevada Ave”. He repeated that answer 2x, never mentioned moving to Portland. We got nowhere in conversation b/c he has zero for honesty. I feel so sorry for the children he’s brought into this world. They will pay for his inability to live as a good man. I told him the right thing to do would’ve been dump me and walk away in June, or truly NEVER get involved w/me. I easily would have put his mail at his place and moved his vehicle there and never saw him again. He hung up on me.
He texted me a bit after hanging up saying, “so now that u trespassed do u have anymore set of keys that i am unaware of or should i call the cops and report it?”
Call the cops. I didn’t respond to his text. I was his girlfriend, watching his place, w/enough to prove as much as I went to retrieve my belongings. That response was 100% someone pissed he’d been caught. I cleared all of my things from his place and that’s the end. He’s out of my life.
The women he trashes in the future speak to his lack of respect for himself and women….he sees them as fucktoys (as the OAF nation article states). He will continue to feel that empty hole inside until he fixes himself.
He flew in on 8/12 and I picked him up at airport. We came to my place to collect his things. We hugged, talked a bit, kiss at airport and here but he was all fu*ked up and weird. He held my head and stroked my hair…call me ‘prettiness’. He said, “I know you can tell I’m absent, I’m just trying to keep moving forward as I can’t deal w/emotions right now”. I asked if he was okay, he said “No. I can’t feel, I have to keep going”. I knew he was lying about driving to Watkins that night. I knew he’d stay the night here in CoS (b/c he’d told me that previously that he was going up in AM). Gut instinct is always right. Never discount that.
A real man, man of integrity, who respected himself and women would apologize. For being one of the worst kinds of liars, he faked a future w/me for his own satisfaction….he got off on me loving him. Narcissists don’t apologize. He needed to know many times what I loved about him. I told him…he worried about what he could offer me now. He said, “I can promise you a solid fu*king relationship”…that was enough for me. I told him I’m easy in that as long as 1) he doesn’t treat me poorly and 2) he doesn’t fu*k around. I’ve screen shots of him promising he’d never fu*k around as I deserve his “dignity and loyalty and respect and faithfulness”. He doesn’t know what those words mean. Blame it on ESL (my attempt at sarcasm), reality is he’s a train wreck of a human being.
He used emails I’d sent him during deployment (100 questions b/w couples, 5 love languages) w/Sydney and even sent her photos I’d sent him (tea at his place in flower mug, miso horny sauce from place in Denver, and more). We answered questions back and forth and he used the same material on her to appear to be a loving, invested boyfriend.
Same verbage in texts and emails, fica/cazzo, things he wants to do to and w/her and me. None of it is original. Some would call him a player. I tend to believe it’s worse, deeper, and more malicious than that…to be able to lie to that extreme and believe those lies.
If I’d known about her in the beginning I’d NEVER have even texted w/him or gone out w/him AT ALL. His lies and deceit are a level I can’t even comprehend….it cuts to my core b/c I asked him yesterday on phone “what about me made me a soft target?”. I know I’m genuine, generous, kind, loving, ambitious, hilarious, intelligent, driven, successful, and an overall amazing woman. He is the most pathological type of predator…see something he wants and takes it w/o ANY regard for anyone in his path. That’s fine in his line of work. That’s not fine when women, children, families are involved. It’s sociopathic behavior to lack empathy. Also a trait in the SF world…the psychological testing speaks to it being a trait that can be capitalized upon.
I asked him why he thought it was okay to keep me as a sidepiece…what made me that in his eyes. He said he didn’t know what I was talking about and we had a fantastic time together. We did….except he knew he was harboring a HUGE secret. Woman in Colorado Springs, woman in Portland. Neither of whom was complicit in his double life.
The flowers he sent me, the letter, the notes, the emails, the photos and videos. Same EXACT stuff w/her. She’s blonde, blue eyed, butt, his type is clear. He just had one of us in 2 different locations. Lucky for me I’m not married nor leaving wreckage in the path of my choices. I kept my word to him while he was deployed. I come from a place of pure intentions and can walk away, w/my head held high, like a motherfucking boss.
***MIND BLOWN 8/15/15
Called Sydney this AM ~ 0630. Impetus for calling (regardless of whether she’s married or not) was that she deserved to know truth about Filippo before having baby and marrying him.
Told her who I was and that I was calling about Filippo. I told her that only reason I was calling was b/c I wished someone had told me about my ex years ago (cheating prior to marriage) and I wished someone had told me about her. I’d never have gone out w/him. I went on to tell her about the messages and photos he sent her (tea at his place, miso horny sauce, 100 questions b/w couples, 5 love languages) and that I’d sent them all first. She asked how I knew about them and I said I saw them all on his laptop. I told her I hadn’t told him I’d seen everything.
I told her about the phone call w/him on 8/13 and that I confronted him asking if there was someone else. I told her that I’d asked him to tell me the truth, the whole story and he said he had NO idea what I was talking about. He completely denied it and said that the paternity issue was weighting on him and he didn’t have room right now for relationship, was going to go it alone for time being.
I also told her I waited 2 days to call b/c I didn’t want to call out of emotion, yet I still felt she deserved to know. I told her how sorry I was about finding out about the pregnancy the way I did…..wait for it…….wait…….for………it…….
She said, “I’m not pregnant”….whhhhaaaaaaaaatttttt?????????? She said, “no, I’m not pregnant, never have been.” I could’ve vomited, nausea and elation in waves. Because his pathology was becoming more clear. He very easily could’ve broken up w/me in June. Instead he concocted an incredibly intricate lie that attempted to make him look like a good guy. Pregnant ex, he was gonna man up and be single and pay more child support. She’s not pregnant.
I told her about his/our plan to move to Denver, J would live w/us and go to school. She said, “that’s our plan too”….he’s unbelievable. I told her about evenings w/N and meeting M (his 1st ex-wife) and D (her husband) and J. She asked, “you know his kids?” I confirmed yes and that they know me and told her about N’s whatsapp convo w/Filippo when he said, “I like C, I don’t want to meet other girls”. And that when Filippo asked if he should keep me around as a girlfriend, b/c he really wanted to and I lived close and it was time for him to be happy and move on, that N said ‘Ya I like her. She seems very helpful and caring.’
His kids know her too, they’ve spent plenty of time together. He and Sydney have been together off and on for 4yrs (yes, even while she’s married).
Her mind was blown that I know the kids and we hung out together (J would never come around and Filippo said it was b/c she was jealous. She knew better than to come around me….poor kids).
I told her about his training in Denver and that I wasn’t trying to be an additional stressor while deployed w/the stress of the pregnancy news and operational status. Told her I picked him up from airport on 8/12 and it was like we never missed a beat, conversation, hugged, held hands, brought him here to pick his things up. Told her I’m blonde, blue eyes, similar traits except I live here and she’s in Portland. Told her he brought me things from Portland (wine, pastries, tea).
Told her about wedding in May in Boulder (Cruz) and that he came to my house the night after the wedding party ended. I saw her airbnb in his email and she booked the room for them when he asked her. They were together that weekend and he came to me afterward…he’s subhuman.
Told her I got pregnant in April and it didn’t last. She said, “you were pregnant?” Yep. She said she was sorry too for all of it. And that she had to work this AM, she was up getting ready for work.
She said, “he’s here right now”…whaaaaaattttttt???????? I asked what she meant, as he had to go straight to drill at Watkins. She reiterated that he was there, asleep in her bed. She had to go to work and said she plans to confront him after work.
She asked if he broke up w/me when he came home. I said no, it was as if were normal and he said “I know you notice I’m a little absent, I have so much on my mind w/the pregnancy and can’t deal w/emotion”. I told her I didn’t push b/c he had to go to work and I figured we’d talk later. She asked, “so in your mind, you were still together?” Yep. Epic.
Not my business or my issue at this point. I don’t know her but I can’t imagine she’s as skilled at this game as he is…I’m curious what he’ll tell her but bottom line is I’m free and clear.
I asked if she wanted my contact info (I’d blocked my number when I called) and she said sure. She later texted and thanked me for being forthcoming, and that she knows it wasn’t easy.
**** I plan to turn this into something to publish. So all that cross paths w/Filippo Salvatore Travisany have adequate chance to google and avoid (if they so choose). He’s so smooth that he may be able to concoct some story about crazy ex but no one (besides him) is conniving enough to make anything up this bizarre and deluded.
• 9 comments
9 comments on Filippo Travisany
at 7:45 pm (4 days ago)
I was messaged by pippo on Pof in June 2015. We talked every day he sent me sweet presents and when he returned in October we went on a few dates. He wanted to meet my boys and asked if I could go to breakfast to meet his son and step daughter. I could tell he wasn’t a man I could count on. I ended it. Thank goodness!
at 7:51 pm (4 days ago)
Oops June 2014- October 2014!
at 12:44 am (2 days ago)
Lori – I’m appalled and so glad for your sake you didn’t get involved. He’s insane and a sick, sick, sick man. Protect your children first and foremost.
at 12:49 am (2 days ago)
This guy contacted me too. Dates and ‘romancing’ but he wasn’t right…if that makes sense. He was very cryptic and seemed like he wasn’t truthful
at 1:52 am (2 days ago)
https://www.airbnb.com/users/show/10766956 – Lori, he was still cheating w/married Sydney when dating you too…
at 5:22 am (1 day ago)
You have my support!!! (And, obviously my number lol) Let me know how I csn help. I’m soooo sorry for it!!! I had a thing with 18 months ago. Woke up one morning to him texting Sydney while in bed with me!! I lost it! He’s scum of scum…. Let’s take him down!!!
at 11:45 pm (14 hours ago)
wow, the sad part is that this does not surprise me in the least. So devastating to know there are people that make a choice to live a life like this. Chose to manipulate others to feed their own messed up instant gratification. I too was played in his game, the same time frame of all of you, in pretty much the same way. So thankful I saw him for his true colors and moved on to an amazing man. But certainly felt the hurt and embarassment pretty damn hard. I pray for his children that are a pawn in this, and hope by some grace of God he can find his soul underneath it all.
at 1:03 am (13 hours ago)
Jo, when were you played?
at 1:26 am (13 hours ago)
I do believe more women will come forward. The ONLY reason to do so is to protect others in the future. This man is spreading disease (yes) and evil due to his own pathology, lack of empathy, and simply pure malicious evil soullessness.
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