Friends With Benefits Don’t Exist | #tinder | #pof


Let’s make one thing clear, however. The casual hookup is not the same as “friends with benefits.” FWB does not exist. To be completely honest, the casual hookup is just a polite way of saying “two people currently on Tinder.” It’s sex and social media. It’s booty calls and drunk hookups and we just named it as a one-night stand.

* * *

I can’t stop thinking about what’s going on with me and my Tinder date. Yes, he is just a Tinder date. We’ve never jumped into something serious. I’ve never met his friends or his family, I don’t know him even we used to live under the same roof for almost a year. Hence I’ve never told him who I am.

But I just realized I’m no longer in casual hookups, I’ve fallen to intimate hookups. Because I’m hooking up sober, talking about feelings, staying over for three days straight, but are not boyfriend and girlfriend. I’ve entered the daunting limbo of the intimate hookups even when there’s no sign.

I have to admit it I’m in love with him and it’s a red flag for both of us.

Casual dating should be “don’t give a fuck about each other,” but I felt a fit of jealousy when I knew he talked to his ex, and once, he got mad at me when he knew I saw my ex for dinner. It came up as complicated, but I felt happy. It means I’m liking a person I’m sleeping with, so this is not a casual anymore.

Instead of staying inside a whole day, he always takes me to look around, and even if I’ve never met his friends and family, he usually talks about them even if I don’t know if his stories are real or not. A rule of casual dating is, we meet up after dinner. But we go out to dinner.

We shouldn’t talk about our life, our job, our dreams, and our feelings but we did. A casual date shouldn’t talk about that deep stuff only a true boyfriend or girlfriend could handle. We also shouldn’t fight over something personal like our perfume choices because its opinions shared and it’s a red flag.

* * *

Why we keep calling it casual dating or friends with benefits while we know we are not. Friends with benefits are a myth, please tell me if you have seen the actual case of it. Even you are the ones who feel that way, please explain to me.

Even if it doesn’t work on every rom-com movie, did you see Mila Kunis finally fall in love with Justin Timberlake even though they’re making a deal to not fall in love with each other?

And me, I’m not living in the movie and start to feel confused. What did I do with him, what does the future hold for us?

And, why am I in love?

Previously published on “Hello, Love”, a Medium publication.


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Photo credit: By sambasrm


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