Should you include your income in your online dating profile?
I have been of two minds on this question — and came to the conclusion: Yes.
After a divorce, I’ve been single for five years, actively dating for four. When I first ventured out into the new-again world romance, first on Match.com, later on OKCupid, I omitted my income. Why? Well, for all the usual reasons: It is considered impolite to talk about money. I didn’t want to come across as being obsessed about a guy’s income. And, because my income is high, I didn’t want to scare off potential suitors.
But some months into my dating venture I found that I wasn’t meeting guys I really dug — and that includes many qualities, including that they are professionally ambitious. I am 38 years old, and usually date men my age and older. And in middle age, if you aren’t established or very well on your way in your career, the likelihood that is going to do an about-face is slim. I’m not looking for a guy with many millions of dollars, and in fact prefer to date someone with a similar financial picture as my own, as I find we have more in common (see below). My career is important to me, and I identify best with men who feel the same. Being financially stable usually comes with professional accomplishment, even if the guy may earn less than me.
And so in the right-hand column of my OKCupid profile that highlights the key personal details, I changed my status from blank, to my six-figure income. Almost immediately I started meeting very interesting men. Lots of them.
This last point was of interest to my friend Farnoosh Torabi, the financial expert and author of the fascinating When She Makes More: The Truth About Navigating Love and Life for a New Generation of Women (the paperback of which was recently released). Torabi advocates for high-earning women to disclose their finances early in a relationship, in an act of transparency that allows for any resentment to be worked through early in the courtship. After all, the chances of divorce in couples where the women earn more than their husbands is double that when the inverse is true.