Hubby’s cheat video still haunts me and it is ruining our marriage


Dear Deidre

I CAUGHT my husband and best friend having sex in our utility room.

I wasn’t there but I’ve got it on video.

She’s been my friend for 20 years. We were in the same ward when our daughters were born and our friendship has always stayed strong. She’s 42 and my husband and I are both 43.

Her mum and dad both died last year then her husband walked out to go off with someone else. I was there for her through it all.

I knew she was feeling needy and was likely to throw herself at the first man who paid her any attention, so I wasn’t too pleased when she started flirting with my husband.

She was making a fool of herself but I never thought she would try making a fool out of me.

I work in a supermarket and it seemed like she could never remember my shifts.

She always turned up on the nights when my husband was home on his own. I confronted my husband about this. He said not to worry — my mate was just lonely and bored.

Then my sister sent me a text when I was stacking the shelves at work one time. She said she’d called round and caught the two of them kissing by the back door.

What my husband was getting up to while I was at work began to worry me so much I got my nephew to set up some movement-activated cameras.

One was in the kitchen and they had sex in the utility room with the door open so the camera caught it all. I showed my husband the video when I got home and he went white.

He said it was a moment of madness which he totally regretted.

I then confronted my friend and she said it had been just a one-off.

My husband says he loves me and I don’t want to give up on my marriage — but I can’t get those images out of my head.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m not surprised. You can make a start by deleting that video but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can simply shrug and move on.

They both behaved really badly and you want to be sure they both accept this and know just how angry you are.

Your friend has been through a really bad time but that doesn’t excuse what she did. Has she really said sorry and tried to explain?

But what matters most is your marriage. Be careful you don’t throw away what you value. Most marriages go through a bad patch, so make this a time for you both to take stock.


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