White-lying your way through completing your online dating profile to drum up a bit more interest is most certainly a common practise on dating sites however when a relationship gets serious, withholding the truth will come back to bite.
While we don’t recommend fibbing at any stage in the dating process, the nature of some free dating sites can make people feel the true version of themselves won’t quite make the cut so they embellish to improve their chances. Small fabrications will most likely be forgiven but telling mammoth porkies about the important things will probably spell the end of the relationship you lied so hard to get.
LIES, DAMN LIES AND HEIGHT
Adding an inch or two or subtracting a year or two might mean nothing to someone once you’ve fallen in love but denying your children, fudging how far down the separation route you are with your ex, or giving yourself a PhD will be considered deception on a massive scale.
Yet still, while these examples may sound bad, dragging your beloved down the aisle knowing you don’t want the same things from life as they do, is a wilful act of selfishness.
On countless occasions, we have come across freshly separated young people who were led into a union believing their spouse wanted children only to be told, after the ink had dried on the marriage certificate, that children were not going to be a part of their future.
DISHONESTY ABOUT FAMILY ASPIRATIONS – THE MOTHER OF ALL LIES
Most of us will consider the notion that two people can spend years together, planning their lives and looking into the future with a unified anticipation of what’s to come without ever speaking about children to be ludicrous. But it absolutely happens. However, it cannot happen without some sense of malice on the side of the partnership that withholds their secret and leads their partner to believe they want the same things.
You might ask, what were they thinking? Were they so arrogant as to think that their partner’s love was so enduring that he/she would relinquish the opportunity to have children just to keep their marriage going? Of course, children are not for everyone and thankfully we now live in a society where both men and women are free to openly discuss whether they do or do not want them. Meaning that people who don’t want children aren’t forced to have them because society dictates they should.
But, for many that do want a family, that need is so ingrained it cannot be easily shaken. For most, forfeiting the chance of having kids would be the ultimate sacrifice and were they to be forced into such a decision, would inevitably end up resenting their partner for it. It is one of the fundamental urges of a human being and should be respected accordingly.
DATING HONESTLY – START AS YOU MEAN TO CONTINUE
So yes, although some online dating websites may make one feel the need tell a porky or two, remember that when you do find that relationship you want, if you have started it off on a lie you may find yourself back on the dating scene sooner than you thought.
And while those in established relationships already may not feel they need our dating advice, when it comes to serious matters of your future goals-have the difficult conversation early so you don’t go so far down a path you can’t go back and end up tricking the one you love into a doomed marriage.
Give your partner the information and if they walk away then you are both free to meet someone that wants the same things from life. If they stay, then you will have a far better relationship for your honesty.