How to prove and fight online dating and romance scams | #datingscams | #russianliovescams | #lovescams


“You gotta help me! My dad is sending her all his money!”

I frequently get requests from friends and readers to help them save a loved one from a romance scam. In most cases, a lonely friend or relative has been contacted by a younger, beautiful online-only personality and is unwaveringly convinced of the person’s sudden, passionate requited love, even when asked for money. Lots of money.

Technically, online dating scams are part of what are known as “advanced fee” scams. The scammer usually requests money to visit the victim, usually to pay for a visa and airfare, but then suddenly runs into other “unexpected” difficulties (arrests, kidnapping, etc.) that cost the victim additional money. The closer the date appears to be getting to the victim, the more unexpected calamities appear. The scammers seem to delight in torturing their victims and seeing just how outrageous they can make the stories be and still get paid.

Many victims lose substantial sums of money, often their entire lifesavings. Some wealthy victims have lost millions of dollars. Many willingly go spending into the poor house selling off every available asset, convinced that their online lover needs just a bit more money to make all their dreams come true.

When the people contacting me look at the emails and other evidence, it’s so obviously a scam they don’t understand how the victim can fall for it. We are all human and are probably overly susceptible to some sort of scam during a low point of our life. A famous quote from Blaise Pascal goes, “The heart has its reasons which the mind knows nothing of.”

Before contacting me, family members and friends have already tried everything they know to convince the victim that what is happening is a scam. The entranced scammer’s target is in what they think is a once-in-a-lifetime, undying love affair that no one else understands. In their mind, they are rescuing a beautiful spirit, in body and soul, from a hellish existence, who can’t wait to marry them. Their love is real, and will stay real until the myth is broken.



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