Before covering how best to vet prospects, a word about spam is in order. Within a few hours of running your ad, you are likely to get a flurry of brief texts such as: “Room still available? See it today?” or “Sounds Perfect!!!” These abbreviated prompts are usually scams. Delete them.
Conversely, you are likely to receive also a few long, involved narratives, supposedly from someone out of state explaining how he/she is planning to move to your area in a few months, but is currently studying in a far-away place, and after several months there, will need to live in your area. Inevitably, these prospects want you to reply with more about you and your property. That’s the sign of spam. Delete them.
Ask the prospect to call you
Always begin the initial rental conversation over the telephone, rather than texting, emailing, or inviting prospects to your house first. Do so to protect your personal safety. Also, it saves your time and theirs and allows you to quickly sort through potential lodgers. The purpose of the initial contact is threefold: To make sure the prospect understands the ad, to provide additional information about the property (keeping in mind you are chatting with a complete stranger), and for you to determine whether you want to show the room to him/her.
Before responding to any inquiry, I google the name to see if the prospect pops up anywhere. I also enter the name on Facebook and LinkedIn to see if something appears. It’s an imperfect approach, but helpful nonetheless. Ideally, I would have the funds to pay for a background check. This workaround, though, together with the requirements described below, serve the purpose. The only times I have had trouble with lodgers were my own fault, because in each case I had skipped the steps I usually follow when events in my life were overwhelming. If at all possible, wait until you are less overwhelmed, or seek help from a friend, before attempting to vet prospects.
Next, make a check-off list of what you need before you speak with prospects. You need to know about their work schedules, car ownership, and extra items to store, if any. As you converse, keep the end game in mind. Review the ad briefly with the prospect, especially your requirements about smoking, pets, the lease, damage deposit, and date available.
Those seeking rooms typically respond to numerous ads. To help jog a memory, state again your locale, and perhaps the headline used in your ad. Ask prospects how they found your ad, how long they’ve been living in the area, and whether they are familiar with your neighborhood. Review your requirements. You’ll need two references: One to verify their ability to pay rent on time, a second to attest to their character as tenants, plus a copy of a recent pay stub to verify employment, and a copy of their COVID-19 vaccine card.
Ensure the prospect you’ll need those the day you meet, will photocopy on the spot and then give back. You have to be vigilant about your personal safety and that of your other lodgers. If they protest about any of this, it’s best to end the phone call politely. Don’t worry; someone else will be inquiring about your room for rent soon enough.
If the prospect obliges, however, and the conversation is still underway, then it is time to talk about the room and your property.
A few prospects will argue over the phone their case against your ad for a single lodger, as if you are the defendant and Judge Judy is listening in on the call. One woman called and seemed nice enough. However, on the second call she revealed she was calling on behalf of two people, not just one. “Our love is so strong that we live as one,” she said. She insisted that quality made them agree on everything, shower together, hardly ever fight and so they would be practically invisible! Others will try to convince you a single room with one bed will suit them fine, mentioning late in the conversation how their German shepherd/ferrets/caged parrots/three cats/three-year-old toddler, or even their elderly Uncle Walter will sleep on the floor near the bed and cause no trouble.
I have fielded these exact queries. Many are heartbreaking. I fell twice for such appeals and chaos ensued. I learned the hard way what my house is and what it offers. I am not running a zoo, a shelter, or a halfway house.
Some will make mind-blowing, offhand requests. “Oh, by the way,” said one prospect last week, “I will also need to set up my portable sauna in a spare room or out in your garage.” Two years ago a man texted (even though I had advertised for a female housemate), explaining that he would need to disassemble most of his motorcycle on a tarp in the bedroom so he could work on it every weekend. One woman replied to my ad, asking if it would be okay if she removed part of my lawn to plant a big vegetable garden, since she is a vegetarian. A gentleman left me a voice mail one autumn, explaining that he was working on his B.A. in music, but he would limit his trumpet practice to two evenings a week, knocking off before 8 p.m.
Some believe all they need is just a room, when really what they crave is outsized dominion. To wit, I have been asked: “Can you do anything about the owls in the trees?” “Will I hear the wind blow at night?” “Are the blankets on the bed soft or scratchy?” “Does the washing machine make the house steamy?” “Do you use Dawn soap?” “Do you cook meat or garlic?” “Do you use hairspray?”
One caller demanded to know the name brand of the ice melt I use on the sidewalk. One wanted to know whether I raked autumn leaves in my yard, because she would protest the raking of leaves anywhere she saw it happening. These exchanges illustrate the beauty of insisting on the call first: A 10-minute phone call is easy to end.
Be diplomatic. “Thanks for chatting,” I will say. “I am still fielding calls, so will be in touch if the room is still open at the end of the week.” It always sets my mind at ease, in each case, to then block that caller’s phone number forever.
Remember: Renting rooms in your house to lodgers is a job. As with any job, parts of it can be annoying. At first I was shocked by the spam, the strange calls, the odd requests. There is no filter between your ad and the general public reading it. The room-renting business sets you on the leading edge of America’s housing shortage tsunami. Understanding more about it puts the work in context. It will help you field calls with compassion.
According to a 2021 Freddie Mac study, our country is 3.8 million houses short of what we need. It is especially trying for young people, many of whom are delaying marriage and/or having children until they can find stable housing. Researchers at the Harvard Kennedy School Institute of Politics have verified that housing, especially, is holding an entire generation from becoming independent. Millennial activists have organized under Yes In My Backyard (YIMBY), pushing for new construction of affordable housing and changes in zoning to allow for more housing density in cities across the U.S.
As a person renting to local workers, you will be in conversations with millennials and others who are struggling mightily with this intractable situation. Consider it a type of education, a window into American life others may never witness so closely. As you listen to the problems they face, be firm, but be kind. Also, be kind also to yourself and keep your boundaries. You do no one a favor if a prospect’s stay at your house lasts only a few weeks or a month. When that happens, you both have to start all over again, wounded a bit from the trial of it.
If the conversation is still going well, and if you think you might consider meeting the person, then talk about the house more broadly. Cover the everyday habits of those in your house. Is it typically quiet at night so people can sleep? What are your work hours? What is the street traffic like? Talk briefly about the neighbors, the neighborhood, and the backyard. Describe how media is used at the house (all at my house use earbuds). Disclose whether you have a pet, as some people are allergic to them. Briefly explain the house rules.
In that brief conversation, I like to paint the picture of a warm refuge, not just a sterile room. I convey how they will have their privacy respected, their belongings kept safe, their food choices unquestioned, and can choose which day of the week to do their laundry.
Show the room and the house
Only when you feel good about it is it wise to give the prospect your address and to set a time to show the house. I prefer to arrange the showing when one of my housemates will be home, for safety’s sake. It takes me a few minutes to show the room, the house and the yard. Afterward, over a cup of hot tea or cold soda at the dining room table, I talk a bit about the neighbors, amenities such as the nearby hiking trail, the library, the recreation center, and my favorite muffin at the coffee shop downtown. Also, during that conversation I find out a little more about the person, and describe a little about myself, as well. If the showing has gone well, and I believe we may have a good fit, then I ask for the references and photocopy the documents I’ve asked them to bring. I explain how I don’t like to rush people, or to be rushed. I ask them to think about it overnight. I set up a second phone call 24 hours later, to verify whether we have a match. This gives the prospect time to visualize living here, and gives me a chance to check supplied references.
If their references spoke of them glowingly, and if both of us still feel good about the situation the next day, we will arrange in that second phone call a time to come by to sign the lease, and to submit the first month’s rent and the damage deposit. After the lease is signed and I have made the new housemate a copy of it, the next step is to set up a move-in day and to give him/her the keys to the room. Always be on hand the day the person moves in. Questions neither one of you had before will arise, and you’ll want to address them right away.
It is after all this arduous labor that the more interesting and rewarding part of making room begins in earnest. Many people like living near others, although boundaries have to be maintained. I enjoy the sounds and aromas from the kitchen whenever my lodger from China is making her dinner. I always breathe a sigh of relief (if I am still awake) when I hear my second housemate come through the front door from her late-night shift downtown. I smile to hear my cat, Bumble, scurrying from my room to greet her. I like hearing the muffled sounds of my housemates chatting and giggling with their friends on their cell phones before they turn in. (I do, rarely, send a text asking them to keep it down.) I fondly recall biking through the mountains as I imagine the fun my third housemate will have as I see her loading her mountain bike into her SUV on a Saturday morning. My house has become a beehive of activity of them making their way in this world and of me making room for all this life around me. It is warm and lovely. It can be the same for you.
The information provided in this column does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice. The information herein and links to other websites are to provide readers with general information. Please contact your attorney for legal advice with respect to any particular issue. Views expressed herein are those of the writer, not those of the publication.
“Housing Supply: A Growing Deficit.”
“Young People Are Pissed Off: Housing Crush Sours Millennial Voters.”