Older adults turn to dating apps, services to find partners | #lovescams | #datingapps


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Let’s face it, dating can be a drag. Whether you’re a starry-eyed sophomore drooling over the high school football star or a 65-year-old woman swiping through an online dating site, the act of finding the right companion and ideally, love, is one of the hardest things people experience in life.

These days as Baby Boomers age, more older adults are finding themselves single, whether through divorce or the loss of a partner. Many couples in their 50s and 60s find that once their children have left the house, they don’t have as much in common as they used to and choose to separate. However, they don’t want to be alone. That leaves a lot of people looking for dates.

Since many in this demographic are digitally savvy, online dating among older adults is one of the fastest growing segments. In 2019, one fifth (19 percent) of people ages 55-64 tried online dating, along with 13 percent in the 65 and older age group, according to the Pew Research Center. Business Insider reports that over the last 10 years, those over the age of 60 are one of the fastest-growing segments of online daters, and that number is just growing.

Jeff Savage, 71, of Sebastopol, is one of those people. He jumped into online dating after his wife died five years ago of early-onset dementia.

“I was looking for open, liberal-minded, educated women who were interested in a wide variety of topics, who thought deeply about life, who weren’t afraid of intimacy both psychologically and physically, who weren’t temperamental, who were financially independent, relatively transparent (no mind games) and who were looking for same,” he said.

  • If for some reason you don’t feel safe on a date, leave immediately. Contact the service you used to let them know your concerns.
  • Never, ever give money to someone you meet online, but have never met in person. There are many scams out there.
  • Many people lie about their ages online, and some matches may be looking for younger women or men. Be sure to vet your date. Many sites do so as well.
  • Only use reputable online sites. Be sure to get references from friends or relatives, or talk to a customer service representative if you’re still unsure.
  • You don’t have to accept every date that comes your way.

 


Through apps, he found women to correspond with and went on about 10 online-originated dates. He used sites including Match, Plenty of Fish, Zoosk, OKCupid, Hinge and a few more, most of which GenZers and Millennials also use.

And it worked.

“I have been in a loving relationship for the past four years with a woman I met on an online dating site,” he said. “ We started living together soon after I met her.”

He said he learned a lot about himself during his adventures in dating.

“I am pretty self-confident but dating for the first time in my life was pretty challenging,” he said. “But I found the courage and perseverance to do so in spite of my distaste for ‘dating’ and enjoyed the psychological stretch.”

For Irene, a Concord woman who asked to have her last name withheld, she has been able to meet people both online and offline.

“I was widowed young and knew I didn’t want to be by myself,” she said.

Luckily, she met a man “organically,” or through family, and they were together for 12 years, until he had to move to a veterans home for health reasons.

Irene’s children encouraged her to go online and via Match, she found someone, a Lafayette resident. They have been together for “quite a while,” Irene said, and it’s been working out great.

“There are a lot of bad men out there so I am lucky,” Irene said. “We see each other when we want to and when we can, and I can just be myself. I don’t have to put on airs. He loves me the way I am.”

Of course, dating sites aren’t the only way older adults are meeting people. There are some good old-fashioned matchmaking services out there.

It’s not quite accurate, however, to call a service like Maclynn “old fashioned.” It is one of the largest matchmaking services in the country, with offices in all the major cities across the U.S., including San Francisco.

“We go through a thorough psychological screening process that helps us match people,” said Isabella Polizzotto, the West Coast membership manager and a matchmaker herself. “We are geared toward more modern ideals like mindfulness, and find that helps people connect better.”

Maclynn’s largest growing segment is people ages 55-60-plus, those looking for a new chapter in life.

“It is just awesome to see people blossom with another,” Polizzotto said.

 



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