A mum has revealed how she was swindled out of $140,000 in an elaborate romance scam after she fell head over heels in love with a “millionaire” businessman who she met on a dating website.
Jordan Alexander, originally from Canada but now lives in New Zealand, was a 44-year-old single mum-of-two when she started a whirlwind relationship with a man she knew as “James”.
She thought she found the perfect match with a widowed man who was working internationally as a railway consultant while raising a teenage son who was away at boarding school.
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James spent months building her trust by asking her if he could borrow $15,000 and then another $40,000 before paying the money back to her. He even gave her access to his bank accounts where she claims she saw “millions of dollars”.
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And so when he asked to borrow more money when he couldn’t access his bank accounts because his “internet wasn’t working properly”, she was convinced he would pay her back.
Her fairytale romance came to a devastating end when she realised she was fleeced after she travelled all the way to Hawaii to meet her lover – but he never showed up.
Jordan was forced to sell her family home to get out of the $140,000 debt.
Her story bears a resemblance to Netflix documentary The Tinder Swindler which saw Shimon Hayut, a convicted conman, fool women he met on Tinder into thinking he was the son of a billionaire diamond merchant before scamming them.
Before meeting James, Jordan started a luxurious spa business in Island Bay, a coastal suburb of Wellington, after running a successful consulting business for almost 20 years.
She signed up to a dating website in 2012 after struggling to meet anyone due to demands of her work life and two daughters.
Just one day after creating her profile, the mum matched with James who claimed he was living between London and New York.
“It wasn’t love at first sight, but he was attractive in a distinguished way,” Jordan, now 54, tells 7Life.
After James sent her the first message, she remembers his “crystal blue eyes that looked kind and warm” when she checked out his pictures.
“I told myself to be open minded if this online dating thing was to work,” she says.
A devoted family man
Jordan – who considered herself a “hopeless romantic” – thought James ticked all the boxes because their “values were aligned” and they shared the same beliefs about family and education.
“He was a devoted father, a Christian and a bit traditional. James spoke fondly of his wife who passed away due to cancer years before and since then he had not been in a relationship,” she says.
“He was raising his teenage son ‘Michael’ – similar age to my girls at the time and he thought the world of him. He seemed very keen to integrate our families – family was always important to him.”
She says he appeared keen on every aspect of her.
“What made him attractive was the way he immediately became interested in my day, my family and my work,” she says.
“He would remember small details I had talked about or something that was happening. It was so refreshing to have someone interested in me and offer support and genuine care.”
The pair started their relationship as “pen pals” where they wrote to each other every day.
As their romance blossomed, their online conversations quickly turned into phone calls almost every day.
“I remember I was so nervous when he first called me,” she says.
“His accent was very exotic – I couldn’t place it. It was like a cross between a Spanish and South African accent with odd words coming out now and again.
“He told me he grew up around a lot of countries including South Africa and since he moved around and did a lot of work in places like Sri Lanka, he’s picked up a lot of different dialects.
“I thought this made sense to me because I have a Kiwi [accent] and slang that my Canadian friends laugh at, and my Kiwi friends often comment on my ongoing Canuck twang with words like ‘about’.”
As Jordan was swept off her feet, James told her everything she wanted to hear.
“He complained about working too much, being in different time zones and talked about wanting to retire after this last work deal,” she says.
“He was so happy that we were going to meet as he could see a future together and joked about raising our three kids together. We were thrilled.
“He told me this was a big deal and would be the last. Hoorah, then he could rest and focus on enjoying life.”
She verified his home address in London after she sent flowers to his door and he received them.
James even introduced Jordan to his teenage son Michael who she spoke to over the phone.
And then the excuses started
Just six weeks into their relationship, James started complaining about having trouble logging into his bank account due to bad internet connection.
He was working at a railway in a remote area in Sri Lanka when he needed her help to do his banking.
“His payment was delayed so he was annoyed that he couldn’t access his bank accounts to check if it was deposited. He asked if I could help him shift some money in his accounts?” she recalls.
“He asked me to sign into his account – he gave me his passwords, and account numbers while we were talking on the phone.”
When she logged into his account on what she believed was a legitimate website, she was stunned to see his bank balance.
“It was there in black and white, his account balance remained at a healthy $AUD12,218,664. I couldn’t believe it. He trusts me this much?” she says.
“It was odd, especially since he had so much money in there, but he didn’t seem like he had anything to hide – quite humble and focused – it didn’t seem like a big deal to him, so I just felt honoured.
“I went into his account while he directed me on what to do with transferring some money from his account to pay for railway supplies in China.
“Unfortunately, my IP address was in a new location New Zealand – not London, so the bank declined the transfer. Because the transfer didn’t go through, he asked if I could just pay the supplier $15,000 directly so he could get the supplies.”
Jordan claims he started having “troubles” with the supplier so she was instructed to pay a new supplier $40,000.
Just days later, the money she loaned him was deposited back into her account.
But little did she know it was all part of an elaborate scam with multiple victims on the go.
James would have a different excuse every time he asked her for more money.
Jordan says she ended up taking out a line of credit against her house for him.
“As a single mum the line of credit gave me access to emergency money if I needed it for the kids or my mother,” she says.
“I never thought for a minute that I would not have the money back into my account within days or a week max.”
After arriving in Hawaii for their romantic getaway, James continued making up more bizarre excuses.
“He was held up by his project in Sri Lanka so he was going to be a couple of days late. He asked if I could send some money to the supplier to get the project moving along,” she recalls.
“I needed to sell our family home to get out of the debt“
“He started making up more excuses. Some issues with workers and non-documented passes, they needed to pay the fines or he’ll be put in jail – he was trying to rush the job to get to meet me in Honolulu as I had already arrived.
“James then said Michael was off school and in the States when the hurricane struck. Could I send him some money?”
When she realised he wasn’t coming, Jordan knew she was scammed.
“With the investment in the day spa and the $140,000 given to James, I needed to sell our family home to get out of the debt,” she says.
“I had to deal with my kids, and the spa staff and work commitments. I didn’t really focus on the debt and how I would repay it.”
Following six months of dating, she never heard from James again after she tried to confront him.
Jordan says she felt so embarrassed about the scam, she couldn’t tell her family.
“I spent two years hiding my shame,” she says.
“It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with uterus cancer that I knew I had to tell my family the story. The experience was killing me holding it inside.”
“I spent two years hiding my shame“
Jordan was so traumatised, she didn’t find love again until six years later when she met Rick, who she’s now happily married to.
“I met and married my now-husband, Rick on Tinder actually – yes, I went back in,” she says.
The mum knew the only way she could help others “avoid the mess” she found herself in with romance fraud was to share her own experiences by writing a book called I Love You, Send Money.
Don’t be quick to judge
By speaking out, the mum says she hopes her story could prevent others from falling victim to online romance scams.
“It is really easy to throw stones and be judgmental when you hear about romance scams,” she says.
“I think The Tinder Swindler starts the conversation about how elaborate these scammers are. If we start talking about scams with our friends, families and work colleagues, it shines a light on the issue.
“Raising awareness helps people protect themselves by recognising what can and does happen out there on a regular basis. We need to talk about it and stop the shame of making mistakes when we are in love, lonely and trusting.
“Let’s not be so quick to pass judgement.”
