What happens when the object of your affections breaks your heart and your bank account?
In the new Netflix documentaryThe Tinder Swindler, Simon Leviev uses dating apps to swindle his matches out of millions of dollars. It’s a terrifying thought.
But the women in the documentary aren’t the only ones to fall victim to a romance scam. An increasing amount of people have, unfortunately, been subjected to this crime over the past couple of years as research has found that romance fraud reports have increased by 40 per cent during the Covid-19 pandemic.
This is due to a combination of factors, but a huge one is the amount of isolation and loneliness that many of us have faced during this time. This extra vulnerability has meant that many people have been more susceptible to the perceived affections of those they haven’t known for long, resulting in financial and emotional distress during an already tumultuous time.
While it should not fall to potential victims to find all the answers, it’s reasonable to want to know what can be done to arm yourself against these kinds of crimes.
Starling Bank’s financial crime specialist Sarah Lenette has offered up five things to think about and look out for when it comes to romance scams. Here’s what you need to know.
Can you find this person on other social media platforms, and if so are they real?
“Checking someone is real online can help you understand whether to trust them,” Lenette says. But, it’s not enough to know that they have a social media account, try and go deeper.
“When checking their pages, have a look to see if they have online friends and some engagement on their pages? How old is their account and do they look established? Does everything they have told you about themselves match their online profile? These sorts of questions can help build a bigger picture.”
Are they avoiding meeting face to face, or even a video call?
A witty back and forth over text is always good fun, but to ascertain a meaningful, safe connection, ensure that the object of your affections is up for putting more of themselves out there for you to see.
“If someone is avoiding meeting you either online with a camera on or in-person then this could be a telltale sign that they are not real,” Lenette says. “Excuses may include a broken camera or that they’re not allowed to talk to you on the phone because of their job.”
Can you find their photos online linked to other people?
“The relationship between social media content and other users can be a great way to tell if someone has real friends and contacts outside of their own social media bubble,” Lenette advises. She recommends using TinEye, an image search and recognition company, to try a reverse image search on photos your love interest has given you.
This will give you an idea of whether the image has actually come from them, by taking a look at its digital fingerprint.
Does their story add up? Trust your gut if something doesn’t feel right, and challenge them
“Trust your gut, if it doesn’t feel right and there are gaps in the stories they have told you then don’t feel guilty about doubting them,” Lenette says. “It is better to know now than later on if the person isn’t who they say they are.”
Never send money to someone you’ve never met, no matter how much you trust them
In the cases where this has happened, this can be due to a huge amount of emotional manipulation and coercion from a scammer or abuser. But if you try to abide by this rule of thumb, you are likely to be much safer.
“Allowing another person to access your bank account, taking out a loan, or transferring money on someone else’s behalf also puts your money at risk,” Lenette adds.
If you think you have been scammed…
Contact your bank immediately, and look up Take Five – a campaign backed by the government and the Financial Conduct Authority – for more information.
