Paranoid President Vladimir Putin – or his ‘understudy’ – is calling for a sanction on western countries as he fears a bed bugs surge will spread to Russia.
The Kremlin head has claimed there is ‘less chance’ of fighting off the creepy crawlies if they bring in harsher restrictions on who and what can come in and out of Russia. But the bizarre rant, now posted to Telegram, has turned heads to the possibility of a doppelgänger.
Rumours circulating the apparent death of the 71-year-old president are yet to be confirmed though a social media post relating to bed bugs could be an indicator of an “understudy” acting on behalf of Putin.
READ MORE: Putin’s doctors freed from ‘corpse-sitting’ duties as leader’s death now ‘state secret’
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Blasting western powers for a proposed ban of imports on ‘screwdrivers and needles’, warmonger Putin hit back, saying there would be ‘less chance that bed bugs’ could make their way into the country.
A statement from Putin read: “In their fantasies they reach the point of absurdity. [The West] propose to ban the import of screwdrivers, needles, and so on, into Russia. Well, the less junk, the better, perhaps. There is less chance that bed bugs will be exported to us from large European cities.”
Telegram channel SVR has since branded the statement from Putin as being from an ‘understudy’ working on behalf of the allegedly deceased head of Russia. Should the bed bug worries be from Putin himself though, the channel branded him a ‘complete idiot’.
Their statement read: “The understudy showed himself to be worse than Putin as an ‘economist’ by talking nonsense about ‘screwdrivers and needles’ on which ‘bed bugs’ from Europe could break into Russia.
“It should be noted that the understudy is incomparably more stupid than the late Putin, which becomes especially noticeable after he receives permission from his curators to express his own opinion on certain issues. The more the understudy opens his mouth when moving away from the written text, the more obvious it is that he is a complete idiot.”
Claims made in the Telegram post echo earlier reports that despot Putin had died last month – though these claims were rejected by the Kremlin. General SVR, believed to be led by a Kremlin insider, maintains the Russian president, who has been in and out of the top job since 1999, is indeed dead.
The Daily Star reported the alleged death of the world leader, who is said to have died at his home in Valdai, Russia, at the age of 71. His death is now said to be a “state secret” among top, trusted brass.
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