Is It Icky for Men to Pay Women For Their Company (and Sex?)


Rich older men, beautiful younger women.

It’s a business model as old as time.

He gets what he wants – youth, validation, and sex with someone largely unattainable.

She gets what she wants – money, security, and access to a world that is largely unattainable.

Whether this tradeoff makes for healthy long-term relationships is another story, but it’s safe to say that, as far as short-term exchanges go, men turning money into sex is big business. It’s not quite prostitution, but it’s not quite NOT prostitution.

Enter “Sugar Daddies” – men who essentially put younger women on their payroll and lavish them with material goods in exchange for company (and, most often, sex.)

The New York Times wrote up this story a few months back and I found it sordidly compelling enough to share with you.

The moment you give sex, you have lost all your power

In an interview with The Times, Brandon Wade, the founder of SeekingArrangement, said his dating platform, which he has rebranded as Seeking, is not a vehicle for prostitution. The terms of service, he said, prohibit transactions for sex; the site simply seeks to bring the role that money plays in mating out in the open. “We want to drive people to talk honestly on the first date about who they are and what they expect to gain from a relationship, just like you discuss in any business relationship and any business arrangement,” he said.

If anything, a “sugar baby” hoping to find a lasting arrangement with “a good provider” should withhold sex for as long as possible, said the thrice-divorced Mr. Wade, who also runs other dating sites including, which promotes so-called “ethical cheating.” “The moment you give sex, you have lost all your power,” he said.

And if that quote doesn’t get you ready to comment below, here’s how the article ends:

“Women are stigmatized and seen as repulsive and worthless when using their bodies to support themselves,” Ms. Fowles said. “I was in a tough place financially, and I am O.K. with my decisions. Women have sex with vile men all the time so why shouldn’t we be paid for it if we choose? I don’t deserve to be shamed for it, or scammed because of  it.”

Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.

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