Lady #Avondale and Mr X: How to #pimp your online dating #profile

Women of New Zealand – it’s been more than five years now since Tinder splashed onto the scene, and swiped the old dating rule book away.

It used to be that you’d go down to the bar, make some eyes at the cute lads along the way, and with a bit of luck they’d sidle up and start a chat. Sure, some culling was required, but at least you could do it right there and then, live in 3D!

Well, that doesn’t really happen much any more. There’s a whole new generation of lads out there who have never, ever in their lives cold-approached a woman. The reason being, they’re glued to their phones on Sunday and Monday nights, queuing up the week’s dates from Tinder and Bumble.

We love to hate dating apps. We load them up, swipe up some matches, then rage-delete them when gammy-tooth Derek turns out to have three kids by two exes. It’s enough to make a girl binge-eat her way through a Bridget Jones marathon.

Sure, dating apps can be frustrating, but they are also a super effective way to meet lots of eligible bachelors who you’d never stumble across “IRL”.

Your profile is your sole path to making a match with a high-quality chap. If you don’t match, you can’t chat. If you can’t chat, you can’t go for a quiet G’nT or five, then slip him back to your boudoir mumbling “I don’t normally do this”.

To understand what men think makes a great profile, I needed to talk to the boys. In particular, I sought the advice of one of the most desirable, eligible bachelors I know, and veteran of many dates both digital and non.

Enter Mr X, an inner Auckland denizen who has been on more than a few good and bad digital dates in his life, and knows a thing or two about what a profile says about you.

This is his gold-plated advice on how to pimp yourself for the 21st century. Ladies, ignore him at your peril.


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