When it comes to navigating the realm of online dating and dating apps, things can get pretty confusing, pretty quickly.
It can be stressful coming up with clever messages to send someone you’ve never even met and you might start over-analysing every single word you type.
But according to one man there’s a very specific question you should avoid writing altogether.
Danny Lakey, a radio presenter from Australia, has written a dating advice column for news.com.au in which he claims women should never ask a man on an app such as Tinder, “what are you looking for from this dating app?”
According to him, there are five reasons why this question is likely to send a man running for the hills – make of his advice what you will.
Lakey’s first reason for disapproving of the question is that he believes the majority of men are “looking for everything and nothing simultaneously”.
He explains that the honest answer to this question is probably something along the lines of: “I’m happy for whatever. I’m not really phased whether I find a serious relationship tomorrow or in 10 years’ time. I matched with you because I think you’re hot, I’d like to get to know you, have sex and then slowly judge over the course of a few months whether or not we should both even consider spending the rest of our lives together.”
Not exactly the ideal response, but what’s even less ideal is being fed a lie – which is his second reason for avoiding the question.
Lakey points out that a “f**k boy” on Tinder is likely to take advantage of this situation, lying about wanting a serious relationship, in order to simply get in a woman’s pants.
His third reason is rather cruel and is likely to offend people, as he claims the question makes women come across as “needy”.
He writes: “Who is a guy more likely to text back? Someone who is having a bit of banter and a laugh? Or somebody who has already laid on the big question within the first five minutes before even meeting them?”
Instead of asking the question, in reason number four, he suggests women wait a little while to broach the topic of whether or not someone is interested in a long-term relationship and in the mean time trust their own instincts.
“Approach guys with a healthy amount of suspicion,” he suggests. “You should be able to trust your gut and if you’re getting strong ‘playa’ vibes then you’re probably right.”
His final point is to be cautious if you ask this question and the guy seems super keen to couple up right away.
He adds: “The only guys who are willing to have a relationship without even knowing the person are the same weirdos with red flags.”