When Jen met Thomas online, she expected to get on with him famously; the two shared many common interests.
He’d let her know he wasn’t “into one-night stands” and was looking for a serious relationship.
But, according to Jen, he was a completely different man when it came to face-to-face interactions.
“He kept telling me that he was very well-endowed and that previous girlfriends told him he was great in bed,” Jen told news.com.au. “I didn’t need to hear that on a first date. I giggled at first but, after a while, I told him I’d prefer if he changed the subject.
“But he didn’t take me seriously. He just kept talking about sex. I just found it very inappropriate for a first date, especially seeing as all our previous online chat was about music and movies we love or telling each other about our families and our work.”
The dinner date had been at a picture-perfect location; a restaurant overlooking the water. It was just after entree when Thomas reached under the table and ran his hands over Jen’s upper thighs.
“I politely told him I’d rather he didn’t grope my legs,” she said.
“That’s when he grabbed my phone, walked over to the open window and chucked my phone into the water! Then he left without a word. He totally ghosted me.”
According to Alita Brydon, dating expert, journalist and creator of Bad Dates of Melbourne, she’s regularly inundated with similar dating disaster stories.
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Ms Brydon appeared on the latest episode of our podcast Ghosted, where she talks about one of the most memorable dating disasters to appear on Bad Dates Of Melbourne.
“A woman was at home because she’d broken her leg and she was on Tinder and met a man who said he’d take her out for a drink,” Ms Brydon said. “So they met at the pub, and then went to sit on the beach. Then, he propositioned her and she refused. He gets upset, grabs the crutches she’d been using to walk and runs down the beach with them.
“So, he stole her crutches, leaving her on the beach by herself. It’s a shocking story but, while many of the stories on Bad Dates of Melbourne are shocking, anybody who’s active on the dating scene, especially with dating apps, it’s very real and very relatable.”
Note: Apparently the woman with the broken leg was able to phone for help. But she wasn’t able to find her crutches.
Ms Brydon believes dating has always been difficult but, social media adds a whole new level of angst, particularly when a relationship has ended.
“People need to make their own rules to help them get through,” she said. “I make it a personal rule not to look at who has viewed my Instagram stories because little things like that can make it very difficult to move on.”
“For a while, I’d look at who’s viewing my stories and think, ‘Oh great, so-and-so has viewed it, that’s fantastic. Surely that means something.’ But it doesn’t always mean anything and we need to look at actions, not these little crumbs that we find on social media.
“I also think the hardest thing about dating and rejection is understanding that closure comes from yourself. It’s so easy to reach out with a text or phone call but it makes life much more difficult in the long run. So I feel like when you’re ending a dating situation it’s important to set some boundaries. Dating has always been hard, so do your best and keep working on your self-esteem.”
Ghosted the podcast will be available on news.com.au, Spotify, Apple Podcasts and all the usual suspects every Friday