In the age of social media and now social distancing, going on dates and connecting with potential partners may seem near impossible. Whether you’re looking for a relationship or not, there is no argument that the whole process is currently kind of wack. And the truth is, millennial dating culture has been this way for awhile now, even pre-COVID-19.
Apps like Snapchat and Tinder have become a staple in millennial dating culture, and we’re here to tell you that they shouldn’t be. As our society continues to progress technologically, we encourage young adults, middle-aged divorcees and anyone else looking for love, to try and revert back to an “old fashioned” way of dating. Don’t know where to start? We’ll tell you. Eradicate the talking stage.
Ah, every college girl and guy’s favorite relationship status: “we’re talking.” Most view “talking” as the stage before becoming exclusive and making things official, when in reality it is a cop out. Harshly enough, most couples don’t even get past this stage.
When two individuals like each other but one or both aren’t ready to commit, they stay cemented in this period of time for a while. Though there is nothing wrong with wanting to get to know someone before deciding if it is worth putting the effort in and considering a label, the “talking” stage shouldn’t last more than two months. By that point, that person should be able to tell if they see a relationship in the near future with the other individual. Additionally, couples should be sure to establish if the two of them are seeing other people during this “talking stage,” because being on two different pages could cause a lot of drama and distress.
Secondly, most college students are 20 years old and older, meaning Snapchat should not, we repeat, not, be anyone’s only form of communication. Simply put, if you like someone ask for their number, but don’t blow up their phone. The issue with phones is that it seems as if one can never get a healthy amount of time away from their significant other.
In past decades, texting, FaceTiming and Snapchatting didn’t exist. This resulted in healthier relationships, as couples would spend time with each other for hours at a time, and then when they parted, they would directly go on with their personal lives. Now, however, many couples hangout normally, but then when they split, they begin communicating via texting, calling, etc. Despite many wanting to know what their partner is doing at all times, this is not healthy. Over attachment may create codependency and irritation for many.
Although the ability to communicate over the phone has many advantages when it comes to making plans and long-distance, it is ultimately not a tool that should be abused.
It is also common for a lot of college students or young adults in their mid 20s to have never been on a real date, and more than likely, some would like to go on one. People, don’t be afraid to make definitive plans like, “I’ll pick you up at 7,” and ask that special someone to go out to dinner. Dates don’t have to be anything too extravagant or expensive, but something other than just “chilling” and “hanging out” would be nice. Just as our parents and grandparents remind us of their most perfect dates, most millennials want those stories to tell too.
Most importantly, take into consideration the feelings of whoever it is you may be with. Often, “ghosting” has become an easy and even accepted way of breaking things off with someone. Yet, per contra, most people have a heart and would like an explanation as to why things are ending instead of being left on open for the rest of eternity.
Whether the reasoning is that you aren’t ready for a relationship and enjoy being young and free or you are candidly not interested in them, they deserve an answer, because wouldn’t you expect one as well? Respect is always necessary whether you are with that person or not. As cliche as it sounds, treat them the way you would want to be treated in all aspects of the relationship.
And finally, although, yes, college is the time to have fun and explore your options, don’t be afraid of giving someone a chance and trying to make it work if you have feelings for them. Remember, you could miss out on something/someone so incredibly great, just because you were too scared and too comfortable. Dating should be fun, so let it be exactly that.