Why do ‘nice guys’ finish last in dating? Singles spark debate over whether ‘kind’ men are less attractive to women – with VERY mixed responses
- Singles have tried to determine why ‘nice guys’ fare poorly in the game of love
- The question was posed on Facebook by Perth dating coach, Louanne Ward
- One man summed it up best, saying ‘nice’ is not passionate, dangerous or sexy
- Others said ‘nice’ men are too accommodating and desperate to please
Singles have attempted to solve the age old mystery of why ‘nice guys’ finish last – but the jury is still out.
The question was posed by Perth relationship coach Louanne Ward, who tries to determine the science behind human attraction by speaking to daters in her Facebook group, She Said He Said.
‘Women say they want a man who is kind, reliable, trustworthy, emotionally intelligent, fun, will do things with her and for her,’ Ms Ward wrote.
‘Yet when it comes to dating, the most common thing they hear is ‘you’re a great guy, but…’ – so what’s the ‘nice guy’ missing?’
The post has drawn more than 100 responses since it was shared on Sunday, but one man from country Victoria perhaps summed it up best, saying nice is not passionate, dangerous or sexy – it’s boring.
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Perth relationship coach Louanne Ward (pictured) asked singles to solve the age old mystery of why ‘nice guys’ finish last
‘Nice is not passionate, nice is not dangerous, nice does not make you feel alive, nice does not sexually challenge you. Nice is playing at 50 percent,’ he replied.
Others said ‘nice guys’ are too accommodating and desperate to please which is an immediate turn off for women who prefer being kept on their toes.
A Western Australian man said mild-mannered ‘nice guys’ lack the confidence and certainty to attract lovers, noting: ‘It’s all in the energy.’
Many women supported this theory, with one saying she finds ‘nice guys’ to be ‘on the ordinary and boring side’.
Ms Ward (pictured) tries to determine the science behind human attraction by speaking to singles in her Facebook group, She Said He Said
Another said what ‘nice guys’ miss out on in their youth, they make up for in later years when women’s priorities change.
A Perth woman agreed, saying she doesn’t understand the widespread infatuation with ‘bad boys’.
‘It’s ridiculous, grow up,’ she added.
Others felt the definition of a ‘nice guy’ is too subjective to answer the question.
Singles said ‘nice guys’ are too accommodating and desperate to please which is an immediate turn off for women who enjoy being kept on their toes (stock image)
One man wondered if it describes a person of great integrity who is honest, kind, caring, polite and well-educated, but couldn’t settle on a clear conclusion.
‘The point is the concept of a ‘nice guy’ is really hard to define,’ he wrote.
‘It would mean something slightly different to 100 women and also 100 men.
And those women and men would disagree on whether they wanted to be perceived as, or be with, a ‘nice guy’.’