My Boyfriend Is A Cuckold Who Wants Me To Sleep With Other Men

I am in a relationship with a wonderful man that I do love very much but I’m on the fence.  He wants to marry me and grow old with me he says.

 

Our sex life is wonderful however he has this sexual fetish and I really deep down wish he didn’t have it.  You say you understand men. Do you understand what men REALLY want sexually? This is REALLY crazy and I don’t understand it. I’ve tried. He says he is monogamous with me but he really loves the idea of me sleeping with other men on occasion.  For example, when he takes a trip skiing with his guy friends, he likes the idea of me just hooking up with someone for sex only, no love connection and then telling him about it when he returns during sex. He gets super aroused by this. Like I said, it’s a fetish.

What do I do? Should I break things off? Everything else is perfect with him except this. I have not done this for him (only in fantasy). It sounds exciting and fun in fantasy only. For me, flirting and hooking up in real life feels wrong.  I don’t want to do it.  Yet, because I love him so much, I desire to please him.  

Do I need your class? 

-Raye

Dear Raye,

Your boyfriend wants to be a cuckold. 

Your boyfriend wants to be a cuckold.

Cuckolding is a fetish that’s rare but growing (as evidenced by a doubling of Google searches for the term). 

As with all fetishes, it only works if you’re comfortable with it. And it’s not my place to tell you to get comfortable with it (although there are many men who would appreciate the equivalent of a permanent hall pass from their wives). 

The interesting thing about your question, Raye, is that I feel your boyfriend needs more advice than you do.

On one hand, you can experiment with this fetish and see how it feels to get sexual pleasure from someone other than your boyfriend without being labeled a cheater. 

If you don’t like it, you can stop. If you do like it, you can continue. 

On the other hand, you can stand your ground and not sleep with anybody else. 

That puts the ball back in his court: what’s more important to your boyfriend, to keep YOU happy or to get his rare sexual fetish met by his girlfriend?

Essentially, my advice is to conduct yourself like the CEO rather than the intern. Instead of worrying what’s going to make him happy (which does matter), reframe this as to whether having this type of relationship with you makes YOU happy.

If it doesn’t, then HE is the one with the big decision to make, not you.

And yes, that CEO way of looking at the world is in my Love U course. ?


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