Naive expectations hurting marriages


DOHA: Some young and newly-married Qatari women expect the same warmth and passion from their husbands that were there during their early marriage days, and such impractical expectations spoil their married life, says a psychologist.

This kind of thinking among newly-married women is to partly blame for matrimonial discords in the Qatari community, says Amina Al Hail (pictured).

She said many newly-married women seriously believe their husbands have no weaknesses and their warmth and passion would never change, and that’s where the problem lies.

“These women should realize that humans change with time, so a man’s behavior is changeable over time. And all humans have strengths as well as weaknesses. There is no human without a weakness.”

Al Hail is psychological consultant with the schools regulator, Supreme Education Council (SEC).

Delivering a lecture she urged newly-married women from her community to adjust to the strengths and weaknesses of their husbands.

She said it is important for a marriage’s success that a woman spends time and effort to identify the strengths and weaknesses of her husband and behave with him accordingly.

Al Hail was giving the lecture to young Qatari women attending a pre-marriage counseling course organized by a charity, RAF (Sheikh Thani bin Abdullah Foundation for Humanitarian Services).

This is the sixth such course being held by RAF targeting 200 young Qatari men and women who are in the marriageable age.

RAF, through its voluntary pre-marriage counseling courses, has so far benefited some 1,800 young Qatari men and women in the marriageable age.

Al Hail said that the rate of divorce in the Qatari community had been going alarmingly up but RAF’s initiative is helping combat the social evil. The rate is coming down.

According to her, after class hours lectures on how to lead happy married life should be given to Qatari female students of secondary schools as also of universities.

Then, there are young and unmarried government employees. They must also be targeted for pre-marriage counseling, she said. “I would say that those women should be included as part of the target group for marriage counseling who are newly-married.

Al Hail said that in general women should know that men are of different types and disposition. Some are emotionally stable, others are not. Some are soft, some others are not.




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