Single Kiwis looking for love online are coming up short, they say, because the pool of eligible suitors is too small.
Those using the popular online dating apps Tinder and Bumble commonly run out of potential matches, but a dating expert says our picky nature may be to blame.
For the past five months Megan (not her real name) has used dating apps Tinder and Bumble to no avail and in “fits of boredom” she’s also tried websites FindSomeone and NZDating.
But within a few swipes, the Aucklander saw identical profiles on the two dating apps. “You do see the same people over and over again on different sites. We’re not a big country, there aren’t that many people out there and even fewer people willing to use these apps because they have a certain reputation.
“You do have a really small pool to play with. I saw my ex-husband on there, which was horrific, but again that’s a sign there is not enough people on there.”
Megan used Tinder twice before she ran out of potential matches in the city. And while recently in Hastings she got to the end of eligible people in less than five minutes.
After seeing the “exact same people over and over again” she found using more than one app a waste of time, so quit Bumble.
New Plymouth born Callum has used Tinder and Bumble on and off for the past five years while living in London and Auckland.
In London, he says the number of people on the apps is unlimited. “You can play as long as you like and you won’t get the same people twice.”
Whereas, in Auckland “you’re guaranteed to see someone you know or several people you’ve matched with in the past. There’s just not enough people”.
Dating expert Emily Mclean says while there are many perks to living in a small country, one of the downsides is there is a small number of people to choose from and date.
Mclean says most app users “clock both sites” (Bumble and Tinder), to the disbelief of her friends overseas, blessed with an abundant source of would-be dates.
But she thinks our “selective” tendency could be partially to blame.
“New Zealanders tend to have a very strict idea of what they want and high expectations of what a relationship can provide.
“I hear people, women especially, say there are no good men to date, but I don’t think that’s correct.”
Compared to other nationalities she says Kiwis aren’t good at being forward and asking people out they might not typically fancy.
But the bottom line is – “don’t put all your eggs in the online dating basket”.
“If people rely on dating apps too heavily they will fall into the trap of saying ‘Oh God I’ve clocked them’. They need to try other ways of putting themselves out there like going to dinner parties with people you don’t know, or going to bars.”