When online dating first came on the scene, it was taboo to discuss and if you ever met someone you would tell everyone you met them in some type of socially acceptable location. Today, it has become a prime location for meeting more girls than you ever could at a bar, club, or wherever your hunting ground may be. As with regular dating, it’s much easier for women than men. Women never have to initiate contact, never have to set up dates, and never have to really try. Hopefully these top online dating tips for men will make it as easy for you as it is for them.
Online Dating Tips for Men: Creating Your Web Presence
Use Online Dating as Practice: With so many women on sites like Match, OKCupid, and PlentyofFish, it wouldn’t make sense for any guy to not have a presence online. At the same time, you don’t want this to become your lone source for meeting girls. You want to use the experience to improve your dating skills – conversing, flirting, creating attraction and sexual energy, and escalating. The actual service itself, however, is only good for meeting girls in real life. You don’t want a pen pal so don’t spend a lot of time on the site. Try to get a date as quickly as possible.
Building an Attractive Profile: All of these services boast their fancy algorithms and tests that match you based on personality. Whoop dee do. Few people care about anything but the photos. Your photos are the most important part of your profile and should portray you in the most positive and attractive light. While men have a fairly basic 1-10 scale for rating female attractiveness, women have a different scale for guys. You don’t need to look like Brad Pitt to be an attractive man.
Your profile should a) show that you are a well groomed and well dressed guy, b) show you in fun situations, preferably with other people, c) show girls a sense of what it would be like to date you. In many cases, the setting and circumstances in a photo are more important than what you actually look like. And for the love of all that is holy, please no shots of your abs.
Building a Confident Profile: There is nothing sadder than a guy being self defacing or putting himself down in his own profile. This is where you need to present your absolute best self, not give women a reason to dismiss you. Never write anything that speaks negatively to your looks, personality, financial situation, or anything else. If a girl isn’t into you for one of those reasons, that’s her problem. You are here to meet girls, not give them a reason to move on to the next guy.
Online Dating Tips for Men: Getting The Girl
Avoiding Lame Responses: You are so much less likely to get a response if you send a message like “Ur cute, what’s up?” or “Yo you’re hot, lets hook up” than a real message. Avoid physical compliments, bring up a detail from their photos or profile and start flirting. It’s perfectly fine to poke fun at them or inject some sexual humor or innuendo.
Once you are talking, take it offline by saying something like “I spend enough time online as it is, let’s talk over a drink” or at least move it off the website and start texting or talking on the phone. Different girls wait different amounts of time, you don’t need to get stuck on girls that want to wait forever to meet or may not want to meet at all.
Set Up Dates ASAP: First, chatting online is an incredibly lame experience, like we said, we aren’t looking for a pen pal. Second, the initial contact is when the attraction is strongest so you want to build off that momentum instead of letting her find a reason to not meet you based on some off handed message. Third, a lot of the girls on these sites, especially the free sites, don’t want to meet anyone so you don’t want to spend all that time trying to build attraction with a girl who never had any intentions of meeting you. Most importantly, dating and attraction is something that is completely different in person than online, make the experience as real as possible for both of you.
Texting and Phone Game: Usually when you ask a girl out you will exchange numbers. Some girls prefer to text or talk on the phone before they meet you. That’s fine, just remember that the goal is still to set the date up as quickly as possible and turn your online dating encounter into real dating.
First Date: An online first date is different from a real first date because it’s the first time you are actually meeting. It’s best to avoid high pressure dates like fancy dinners so go for something more low key. Some guys prefer to talk and get to know her, a simple drink or even a coffee date is fine for a first encounter. Some guys prefer to not have too much one-on-one pressure so taking her to a show, movie, or party may be the best way to go. Once you’ve met and built some comfort and hopefully attraction, you can move on in your usual way.
The Different Dating Sites
Not all dating sites are created equal and there are major differences between them. Let’s take a look at the biggest ones.
Match.com: This is a pay site which is both good and bad. You don’t need to spend money on online dating but consider this: the women on this site are paying to have Match.com help them find someone. They are actually investing in this meaning they are more serious about dating than a girl on a free site who may have made a profile on a whim or just to boost that ego.
OKCupid: As far as free dating sites go, OKCupid is definitely a great one. This site tends to have a younger demographic with many girls in college or recently graduated. The scene also leans to the artsy side with a lot of aspiring designers, artists, musicians, writers, etc. This site seems to offer a higher response rate than others but also has a ton of girls that don’t have any real interest in dating.
PlentyofFish: A free site with tons of profiles and probably has the largest percentage of girls who are willing to meet up. Free sites are probably the best way to put these online dating tips for men into practice without any real investment except time.
EHarmony: A pay site that is more focused on matching you with a potential mate rather than just talking to a bunch of girls in hopes of having some fun. If you are looking for “the one” then this isn’t a bad option.
Chase Parker is an avid traveler, educator and writer on a variety of subjects. Read his articles on First date tips for men.
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