Do they seem interested one day and distant the next? Are they hot and cold or play the disappearing game? If so, Julie Spira, online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, says these are signs they’re keeping you at arm’s length and don’t want to meet. “When someone isn’t interested in meeting, they’ll do a pull-back and might even ghost you for a while. When you notice your chats starting to fizzle, you’re in the friend zone or will be the recipient of a slow fade,” she explains.
Ultimately, when someone’s feeling you and wants to take things to the next level, it’s obvious, adds Spira. “Your match will offer you his or her phone number to move the convo forward, and they’ll be direct and suggest a date and time where to meet,” she says. Her advice if the conversation starts to fade is to just take the initiative and suggest meeting and see how they respond. “The more specific you can get about meeting, the greater the chance of moving a match forward. If they are reluctant to do so, wish them well, and move on,” she concludes.
While the situation might not be ideal, the good news is that there are plenty more fish in the swiping sea who will be thrilled to meet you IRL.
Connell Barrett, Dating Transformation founder and dating coach with The League
Diana Dorell intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again
Julie Spira, online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships