#onlinedating | Dear Annie: Recent divorcee may want to ‘date herself’ before stepping into the scene | #bumble | #tinder | #pof


Dear Annie: I’m recently divorced, and I don’t know how to approach men to date. How do I talk without embarrassing myself? — Ready to Mingle

Dear Ready: Since your divorce was recent, take a little time to date yourself. Try a new hobby. Read those books you’ve always been meaning to read. Dive into a daily exercise routine. Learning to enjoy your own company helps you gain self-esteem — which is not only good for your soul but also one of the most magnetic traits a person can have. When you’re ready, try online dating through sites such as eHarmony and Match.com. They offer a convenient way to dip your toe in and gain further confidence and figure out what you’re looking for. Be sure to always meet people in a public place. (More on that in the following letter.)

Dear Annie: For your readers’ safety, please tell them that when online dating, they should never, ever agree to meet anyone for the first time at any location that is not public. You have no idea what you may be letting yourself in for. Coffee at a Starbucks or another highly public spot is a great idea. — Ed in Essex Junction

Dear Ed: Agreed. As the virus is still a concern right now, outdoor public spaces are also a good option, provided there are other people somewhat close by for safety’s sake. It’s also smart to first go on a “date” over video chat to figure out whether there’s any chemistry (and to make sure they’re the same person as in their profile pictures).

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married one year. Before we got married, he kept himself clean. Gradually, he’s changed, and his hygiene has gotten worse and worse. Now he only changes underwear and showers once a week. He has let his hair grow long and messy and refuses to get a haircut. He shaves maybe once a week, at most. He used to be fun to go out with, and now he never wants to go anywhere. Please help. I’m desperate. What can I do? I want the man I married back. — Stink Has Me on the Brink

Dear Stink Has Me on the Brink: Although only a licensed health care professional can diagnose your husband, it sounds like his poor hygiene is just a symptom of the real problem — possibly clinical depression or another mental health issue. The good news is that help is available. Let him know, in a compassionate, nonjudgmental tone, that you’ve been concerned about him this past year, and urge him to see a therapist. If he is resistant to that, encourage him to see his primary care physician, who will likely refer him to a therapist if he hears these symptoms.

Dear Annie: I just read your column with the letter from “Missing Mom” about the death of her mother and how difficult it has become to move on. Many of us can identify with her. As a person who has always added poetry to a situation, I found my peace through a simple poem I wrote a couple of years after my mom’s passing. If it can be passed on to her, I am more than happy to share it.

Memories used to make us sad,

But now they make us smile.

Alone the first one hundred yards,

But now we’ve walked a mile.

And now we share how life begins

Then spent with family and friends.

And with the love and times we’ve shared,

Know now, it never ends.” — Jack Notman

Dear Jack: Your poem is touching, and it reminds me of another quote that I heard recently: “Love is longer than life and stronger than death.”

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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