The coronavirus pandemic could usher in a ‘golden age’ of dating where people take the time to make meaningful connections, a top clinical psychologist says.
‘The good old days or vintage days of dating are coming back,’ New York-based psychologist Scott Lyons told Daily Mail Australia on Monday.
The shared experience of living through lockdown is breaking down social barriers, encouraging connection and widening the pool of dating candidates.
‘There’s the opportunity to bring on a golden age of dating where conversation and deeper connection is at the forefront,’ he said.
Coronavirus: it’s a golden age for singles, says top psychologist Scott Lyons. Pictured: Locky Gilbert shooting The Bachelor before filming was stopped due to pandemic restrictions
‘It’s an opportunity to recognise the value of human relationships… the fragility of needing communication and connection with other human beings and to give more space and permission for others to not be a perfect person.
‘I think we have a lot to be hopeful about.’
Dr Lyons, a trauma expert, knows this from experience.
He moved to New York City in the days just before the 9/11 terrorist attacks in 2001.
‘When the planes flew into the buildings there was a lot of bonding between strangers, which was not typical in a city like that,’ he said.
‘People have something to connect over.’
In the world of dating, this means the shared trauma of the pandemic lockdown is an ice-breaker that can make conversation flow between people who might not normally ever talk to each other.
Singles can’t mingle with strangers and couples will be unable to cuddle in strict coronavirus social distancing laws for pubs in New South Wales even after June 1 restrictions ease
‘After a social trauma people have something in common they can relate about,’ he said.
‘How did you get by in quarantine? What shows did you watch? We have more in common with each other now.’
Dr Lyons, who is also a yogi, was on a teaching tour of Australia when he got stranded in Byron Bay on the New South Wales coast by the pandemic lockdown.
He insists the crisis has benefited singles, who have found new ways of connecting.
‘There’s a lot of new patterns not seen in dating for some time,’ he said.
‘We’re going back to a prolonged courting – getting to know someone more before physical contact.’
Dr Lyons said this prolonged courtship time would lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships and less one-night stands.
‘When people know each other for longer there’s more likely to be a longer connection than one sexual encounter.’
The pool of interested daters is also set to grow, Dr Lyons said.
Those too busy to date before have had time to contemplate loneliness in isolation and may now be looking to connect.
Top New York psychologist Scott Lyons was on a teaching tour of Australia when he was stranded in Byron Bay by the coronavirus lockdown
Coronavirus breakups may also make the dating pool bigger as relationships that did not survive the intensity of lockdown have created newly-single people back on the market.
The pandemic has transformed how people meet each other with people barred from pubs and clubs shifting to online dating.
Dr Lyons said more people have gone on first dates online using video components of dating apps or Facetime.
Some first dates have included going for walks outdoors, some wearing masks depending on the physical distancing rules of the country.
‘Walks and picnics allow people to connect without being directly next to each other as for example in a movie theatre,’ he said.
‘Rather than go on a dinner date, go for a walk or for in-home dates where physical distancing is easier.
‘I think we’ll see vintage ideas of dating return, for example reading each other poetry or books.’
New etiquette for post-coronavirus dating is evolving with people sussing out what is OK and what is not, and sometimes setting boundaries before their first date.
Dr Scott Lyons (pictured left) said the coronavirus pandemic had torn down social barriers, increased the dating pool. People are now seeking deeper meaning and longer courtships
‘It can lead to that awkward moment – should I kiss, hug or hold hands,’ he said.
‘We see an increasing number of people identifying boundaries ahead of time which is really healthy communication, so we might see an increase in communication skills.’
For relationships that survived the coronavirus lockdown, Dr Lyons sees a positive future.
‘If a relationship prospered during this time, those things enhance the relationship long-term,’ he said.
‘You can really grow closer long-term when going through something significant together.’
During lockdown, those without a partner have also been able to grow by spending time getting to know themselves and developing better self-care, Dr Lyons said.
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