West Cork based soulmate coach Jeanne Sullivan Billeci tells CHRIS DUNNE about finding her match, the benefits of online dating and her new book
What’s the catch?
“When I made my soul-mate shift, I attracted my husband in 24 hours,” explains Jeanne.
“If it happened for me; it can happen for you.”
But don’t single women in their 40s or 50s increasingly feel that their love lives are over as men their own age use online dating to cherry-pick younger models?
“Online dating is the way to go,” says Jeanne, a soul-mate coach who has written . In the book, Jeanne shares all her secrets on how to magnetise your soul mate — starting now.
Does online dating separate the wheat from the chaff?
“Something like that. It can save a lot of wasted time. And you can have a blast online! For people who live in the country, online dating can expand the people they meet.”
It can be a screening tool too.
“Online dating can help you to avoid first bad dates,” says Jeanne.
And you can cut to the chase?
“Exactly!” says Jeanne, who is from California and fell in love with Schull and West Cork when she came there on holidays. After many years coaching in the corporate world, helping people grow in leadership, marketing and business/personal relationships, certified life coach Jeanne decided to pursue her life passion and become The Soul Mate Coach.
Clients were inspired by her mid-life story and how she turned her marketing skills on herself to attract her husband overnight. Jeanne believes her purpose is to bring soul mates together, making the world a better place.
“Todd and I met in our early 40s,” say Jeanne. “I had been married previously and I took two years off to learn about me when my marriage broke up. I really needed time to heal and o decide on what matters in a relationship and how to attract what was right for me. You have to be very clear about who you are and what you need.”
Finding true love involves having clear boundaries and knowing what your deal-breakers are.
Looks aren’t everything.
“People look for the attractive physical traits, the chemistry, that instant spark.”
Isn’t that what gives us the butterflies — the fluttering of passion?
“Our hormones can cause confusion about who to mate with,” says Jeanne.
“Butterflies can also be a sign of anxiety. The person who makes us feel accepted and comfortable is the way to go.”
Todd fits the bill for her.
“I’m grateful we found each other,” says Jeanne.
“He is my Renaissance man! We clicked straight-away.”
Jeanne found her best friend.
“We had connected over the phone and I felt I could tell Todd anything,” says Jeanne. “He was warm and accepting.”
The pair were kindred spirits.
“It was like we knew each other for 10 years. Todd was my ideal soulmate with the same values as me.”
Things fell into place once Jeanne had got her act together.
“Once I decided I really wanted to change my life for the better, and committed to it, everything shifted very quickly.”
Jeanne came late to the party.
“Although I soared high in my career, when it came to love, I was late to the party. I struggled with obesity throughout childhood and in college I was told repeatedly that no-one would ever want me. As I got older I learned that some men liked bigger girls but I believed they didn’t see me as a person.”
Jeanne decided to lose weight in adulthood, which resulted in her getting a lot of sexual attention. She still wasn’t seen as a person.
“It is only by being your authentic self — seen with a loving filter — that makes you truly magnetic to your true tribe,” says Jeanne.
Real people have a magnetism that attracts others.
“There is nothing more beautiful than being surrounded by people who adore the real you, warts included!”
When Jeanne set up her online dating profile she was very honest. Warts and all.
“I was very honest about my goals and about my deal-breakers. I wanted to get married.”
Did that statement make possible matches run for the hills?
“Well, I went on one of the largest, most reputable dating websites in the world, match.com. I was very clear about what I had to offer and I what I wanted to receive,” says Jeanne.
“I painted a picture of what life would be like with me and used humour. Being vague and non-committal isn’t helpful. Being brave and very specific is helpful.”
Did she have to kiss a lot of frogs before she found her prince?
“I sure did!” she says. “And I learned more each time.”
Searching for true love took a bit of sifting.
“And I found a lot of young cubs looking for cougars!”
Was that a deal-breaker?
“Yes!” says Jeanne, who has a great sense of humour.
What are serious deal-breakers for people?
“I had a client who was very lonely for 10 years before she came to me,” says Jeanne.
“She had put an ad in the paper and a younger man responded. Right away there was great passion.”
There was a fly in the ointment though.
“He wanted children. She didn’t. They both thought each other would change their minds. That didn’t happen. The seeds were not right,” says Jeanne.
“They were drawn by chemistry and romance. He found someone else.”
So there was no happy ever after in that instance?
“The woman is now on a journey to feeling happy again.”
“To find your soul-mate you must be in alignment,” says Jeanne.
“It won’t happen if you are unhappy in your career for example. And you must be willing to forgive, to make space to move forward.”
Even true love doesn’t always run smooth.
“Every relationship has some conflict,” says Jeanne. “But love for each other overrides that.”
In , Jeanne has her finger on the pulse, offering people the strategies that helped her attract her own soul mate in 24 hours. She shows you how to: Identify negative relationship patterns and release yourself from mid-life dating myths and limiting beliefs; Understand what a soul mate really is and how to attract the right person for you; Market yourself more creatively and authentically online. Jeanne includes worksheets to collaborate with you on practical tangible ways to do an efficient and compassionate overhaul on your mindset so that you can get your ideal life path and manifest a kindred soul-mate relationship much faster.
is available on Amazon, at Anna B’s bookshop at Grove House and Skibbereen Bookshop. €14.99 in print and €9.99 on Kindle.