It’s easy to take each other for granted in a secure and comfortable relationship. While it’s great to have confidence that you’ll always be there for one another, Spira warns that taking each other for granted is a very effective way to make a good relationship into a boring one. To combat this, she suggests practicing gratitude for your partner and expressing it. “Life has no guarantees, other than that it’s filled with changes. Tell your partner how proud you are of them, how lucky you are to have each other, and how much you admire and cherish them. Flattery goes far,” she explains.
Much of what you get out of your relationship ultimately comes from what you put into it, explains Chong, which is why it’s so important to keep things fresh. “Take it more seriously,” she advises. “If you don’t work on the relationship or marriage, the love that was once so fresh and exciting fades away, and you’ll find yourself with a roommate, not a partner. Take time to maintain the relationship, keep that spark going, and your relationship will survive for many more happy years to come.”
Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach for professional women
Diana Dorell intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again
Julie Spira, online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships