By Bev Galasso
I recently signed up for an online dating site. Yes, during this time and yes, you can call me crazy. That seems to be the consensus when I tell my friends and family members. I thought this was the perfect time to do it. What better way to meet people than through their mind.
I didn’t sign up for the swipe right or left dating site, because you only see their face for a brief moment. That seems to be an unfair advantage or disadvantage for the collective. I’m not saying chemistry isn’t important but I like to look at what’s upstairs first. I need to feel the mind-intellect connection first and then proceed to see what the heart is made of. Lastly, I look to see if there’s chemistry or a physical attraction. Chemistry is last for me, not first.
I’ve been out in the dating world for a while and on and off dating sites through the years. So I’m fairly certain I’ve gotten to know what turns me on or off as far as dating prospects go. I don’t claim to be an expert, I just know what works for me. That’s why I’m choosing to “date” during this time of isolation.
Isolation is a good time to reflect on what’s important and what’s not, what’s a deal breaker and what’s not. There’s also no pressure on meeting someone because we’re not supposed to during quarantine.
If they insist on meeting you, that could indicate a red flag. Are they willing to risk the health of both of you? Could there be some control issues? A lot of questions could be answered without even meeting them.
Although, I may add, some people have gotten very creative for setting up a “date.” One suggested we meet in our cars in a parking lot and converse through our windows via our cellphones. Another suggested we meet at the grocery store in the toilet paper isle practicing the 6-foot social distancing, of course. I thought this was so cute and clever. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
I feel you can learn a lot of about someone through corresponding. You can eliminate incompatible prospective suitors through messaging. You have to trust your gut on that.
The mind connection is so important with getting to know someone, to see if you are on the same page fundamentally. For example, I’m seeking someone who I can have a good conversation with, good communication, and someone who I can share my goofy sense of humor with. Someone with a great sense of humor is a must for me. It fuels the relationship in a good way.
I need someone who I can be myself with, without being judged. We all need someone who accepts us for who we are, flaws and all. No abusers allowed.
Figure out what your deal breakers are when meeting someone and stick to them because it will only cause resentment down the line if they don’t honor them. Political views seem to be a hot topic these days. Ask yourself if you can accept their viewpoint and they can accept yours. For myself, there are some that I can and some I can’t.
It’s human nature to want that one special someone in your life. A famous phrase comes to mind: To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. You may call me a hopeless romantic but I will never give up hope on finding the “one.”
Get to know what’s in someone’s heart and mind first and then take a risk. As they say, “You only regret the chances you never took.”
Bev Galasso, of Lancaster, is seeking a partner with a good sense of humor.