Getting back on the bandwagon after a divorce can be a daunting prospect.
Decades out of the game could leave you at risk of a dating disaster.
Watch the full story above.
When Canberra hairdresser Julie Okely found herself suddenly single in her 40s, she ventured into the jungle of online dating – with mixed results.
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“It was like a minefield – it was absolutely not what I expected,” Okely said.
“I expected to go online and find the perfect man in two or three flicks. But reality hit, and it was a huge learning curve.”
Now, Julie and her friend Simone Hamilton, a behavioural change specialist, have written a book with all the tales of their Tinder fails, from fake profile pictures to flatulence problems.
“One of the things that I found was coming up a lot in my therapy practice was that people were leaving marriages after years, and they didn’t know what to do,” Hamilton said.
“They wanted to find love again, but they didn’t know how to go about it because the world has changed.”
Simone’s top tips for dating
Write a list of traits you want to find: “You’ve got to be really clear about who you want to bring into your life. Make a list, otherwise, you take a scattergun approach and you will become down-heartened.”
Trust your instincts: “Your subconscious is the radar in your mind which can help you. When you meet someone you will be picking up far more about than you’re probably aware of. If you get a bad vibe, you’re probably correct, so don’t ignore it.”
Allow time to get to know someone: “Typically people put the best version of themselves forward – it’s only natural. But the mask starts to fall after about 3 months, so make sure you don’t rush anything, by getting swept up.”
Tips for dating apps
Photos: Be authentic and choose shots which are a good and fair reflection of you and your personality. It will only go badly if you try to be something that you’re not.
Be selective: When you start communicating with people it’s very easy to be chatting to everyone you match with, but it’s okay to filter people out when you know it won’t work.
Don’t put too much pressure on: When you go on a date, it’s only to decide if you want another date. Don’t get caught up thinking you’re off to meet the one.